Nobody Said
by Oregano
Summary: A mistake made long ago. A few years later, he does a Heathcliff and shows up out of nowhere. A complication. Now she'll do anything to get him back. R&R Please.
1. prologue

**NOBODY SAID**

**PROLOGUE**

It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

Rory Gilmore caught a tear with the back of her hand. A small gust of wind blew into her form, as if to intensify the desolate feeling lurching inside her chest. She could do nothing as her eyes followed his figure walk away from her. 

Suddenly, he stopped. 

She bit her lip, praying for him to come back. 

"Please," she whispered as the moment of anticipation grew.

"Rory?" he called icily.

"What?"

"Do us both a favor. Forget about me, okay?" Jess Mariano looked back and stonily waited for an answer. 

Rory never gave him one.

"Just forget I ever existed," he urged again. He licked his lips, which had grown chapped from the cold weather and raised his eyebrows, silently asking her for some form of affirmation.

She mustered all her strength and looked straight into his eyes, saying nothing. She wasn't going to give up that easy. As soon as they made eye contact, she saw Jess' expression soften. His shoulders drooped and his stance became less rigid. He slowly nodded in defeat, and gently spoke, "Okay. Don't, then." His gaze traveled to the taller boy who stood behind Rory with a worried look on his face. Smirking in an almost defeated manner, Jess turned his back to them.

And he was gone. She had wanted to run after him, say she was sorry, hug him until he wouldn't fight her off, scream at him until he forgave, but some things needed time. Rory took a deep breath and turned around. Dean Forester sadly stared at her, waiting for an answer as well. He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair, "Rory, whatever that kiss meant…"

"Let's just forget it, Dean. Let's just forget."

She hugged herself and pushed past Dean with her shoulder. He tried to stop her by grabbing her arm, "Rory."

"No. Just go, Dean. I can't..." But the words all got stuck in her throat, leaving her words limp and trailing towards him. Rory faced him and showed him the tears that formed in her eyes, begging to be let go. 

And he did.

She walked away.

And just like that, everything shattered.

*******

Lorelai Gilmore greeted her daughter at home with a giant smile, "So, how was that coffee thing with Dean? You guys friends yet? When can he change our water bottles again?"

One look at Rory's face gave her all the information she needed. Rory collapsed into her mother's arms and cried. The cotton in Lorelai's shirt felt rough against her cheek as it absorbed her sadness. Things were never going to be the same again.

"He's gone."

"Dean's gone?"

Rory sniffed, "Jess."

It hurt just to say his name.

Lorelai stroked Rory's hair and led her to the couch where they curled up together. After a few hiccups, the girl's words slowly tumbled out of her mouth, almost incoherent through her gasping breaths.

"Dean and I kissed. He saw. I didn't mean to kiss him. It just happened. I didn't…"

Lorelai embraced her little girl as she visibly broke down in her arms. She wouldn't talk anymore.

"Don't worry about it. Things will work out. You'll see. Give Jess some time to cool off, then talk to him. You'll see."

Rory buried her head against Lorelai's shoulder, hoping, wanting for her mother's words to be true. Lorelai furrowed her eyebrows and just held her, not knowing what else to do or say. "You'll see."

*******

The next morning fared no better than the night before. Lorelai had walked to Luke's Diner in the hope of nothing short of a miracle. A miracle for Rory. She strode into the diner with hesitance. As she approached the counter, she tried her best to sound nonchalant. "Hey, Luke. Where's Jess?"

Luke Danes looked up to see Lorelai Gilmore staring at him expectantly. He took a rag from behind and started wiping the counter. Chipping a glob of something with his fingernail, he spoke softly, "He's gone."

The nonchalant shield was immediately thrown to the ground, "What? Gone where?"

Luke, not knowing what else to add, lamely offered this: "Away."

Lorelai dropped her hand against the counter. If things were different, that would have called for a joke. However, this situation was far from amusing. Luke flinched as it thumped with a dead sound. He stared at its lifelessness and heard Lorelai's voice break though.

"He's not coming back, is he?"

He cleared his throat and looked away. Jess had come and gone again, like a flash. He intended to stay. Luke knew that. But love always changed things. 

Heartbreak just made it impossible to fix.

"I don't know." 


	2. one

**CHAPTER ONE**

This was it.

Luke wiped his forehead with the back of his hand nervously. His clothes suddenly felt a little too tight. The couch suddenly felt like bamboo. His cap practically locked his head in an evil grip of doom. He could feel it tightening and tightening to the point where--

Breathe.

Lorelai yawned and stroked his arm gently and absently, completely unaware of Luke's aneurysm. She curled up beside him and just as she was about to nod off, Luke took the dive.

"Lorelai," he said, his voice shaking.

"What?" She didn't even bother opening her eyes.

He took a deep breath, careful not to pass out in the middle of it all. The couch felt a little too warm so he shifted his weight a bit. The movement made Lorelai sit up and that was when she noticed Luke turning a slight tinge of green. "Ah, screw it," he mumbled to himself. He took Lorelai's hand in his and bit his lip. 

"Lorelai, we've been… together… for a while now, how long, about… five years?"

Lorelai furrowed her eyebrows at him and scratched the side of her face. The small action made the hair on Luke's arm stand on end like little football fans during SuperBowl. Suddenly overwhelmed with nervousness and anticipation, mixed with the intense way Lorelai was looking at him, he decided that he would just stare at his shoes as he spoke.

"Yeah, so, five years we've been seeing each other, and it's been a blast. Best five years of my life, Lorelai. And… well, what I'm saying is…"

He didn't see the tears gather in Lorelai's eyes as it hit her. "You're… breaking up… with me," she stated softly, ready to burst into tears. She moved away from Luke, thinking that she wouldn't be able to take it once Luke gave her his nod of positive.

But instead, Luke whipped his head up to give her an incredulous look, "What?"

"You're breaking up with me."

"I'm not breaking up with you! Are you insane?"

Lorelai rolled her eyes and grabbed a piece of tissue, "Luke, when you break up with a girl, you generally try to stay away from insulting her, because I, for one, even in this state, or actually especially in this state, can slap your face so hard you'll bleed from the back--,"

Luke sighed and massaged his temples as Lorelai went on. The gods had to be kidding. Here he was, trying to say something, and Lorelai starts blabbering, actually _stealing_ his air time.

"Lorelai, marry me."

He said it so fast and so clear, that it shut her up good. She stopped mid-word and faced him.

"Are you serious?"

"Well…" he shrugged.

"Oh, God, you are."

"Of course, I am."

"Oh, God."

"I mean, no, uh, just kidding, ha-ha..."

Because Luke saw the panic in her face and realized that she must not have been ready for this. He quickly sat up and said, "You don't have to say yes, Lorelai. It's stupid. Never mind. Forget I said anything. Let's just--,"

"Yes."

There was a slight pause as a still silence went over them both. The gravity of what they had just gotten into proved a lot more heavy and intense than expected.

"Oh, my God," he whispered.

"Oh, my God," she replied.

It had taken, what, nearly two decades, but Lucas Danes finally spit it out to Lorelai Gilmore. Neither of them thought that it would end up like this: Lorelai felt like she was going to pass out and Luke felt like he was going to be sick. 

***

The town square was filled with well-wishers and decorations as a huge party was thrown for Luke and Lorelai's engagement. Sookie St. James laughed excitedly as she heard various raves on how good the food was. She jumped as Lorelai tapped her from behind.

"Ah! Congratulations, honey! Oh, my God! You're getting married! For real! I'm so jealous! The pâtés are better than sex, says Miss Patty."

Lorelai smiled, but then raised an eyebrow when Sookie's words registered into her head.

"Sookie, you _are_ married. For real."

"I know."

"So…"

"So what?"

"You're drunk, aren't you?"

"A little bit, yeah," she pointed a knowing finger at Lorelai and leaned onto one of the food tables, nearly setting her sleeve on fire. 

"Sookie!" Lorelai yelled.

"Lorelai!" her drunk friend retaliated, still not noticing anything remotely wrong.

"Mom!" a familiar yet sudden voice called out into their general vicinity. Motherly love and all around giddiness came upon Lorelai as her daughter walked up to them excitedly.

"This is such a great party, Sookie," Rory complimented, "I just love the cake and the…" She trailed off when Sookie suddenly walked away, without a uttering a single word at her.

Rory glanced worriedly at her mother, "Is she mad at me or something? This _is_ a cake, isn't it? Not some odd new French pastry? Because remember when I called her lemon pie a meringue, and she almost beat me with her whip?"

"Yes, that is the exact reason, Rory," her mother replied with a sad look on her face, "You really should read up on your culinary terms. Because pretty soon, Sookie's going to come after you with a steak knife."

"Dammit!"

"So how've you been, Lois Lane?"

At twenty-four years old, Rory had grown to be a marvelous, mature woman. But at this moment, she looked like she was four again, excited to tell her mom all about something she'd discovered. Her smile was gigantic and so infectious that even Lorelai's face was starting to hurt.

"Mom, I have something to tell you."

"Oh, no. You're not going to ask me to marry you, are you?"

"I got the job."

Lorelai's eyes widened at her daughter's good news. Jumping around (and not really caring because this is Lorelai Gilmore we're talking about) and squealing excitedly like a little pig, she took Rory's hands in hers. "This is the best day, _ever_! First Luke and I are getting married, now you get this woohoo-ber-fabulous job at Time Magazine! I have to savour this feeling of your un-professional hand because pretty soon, the calluses from the Franklin and that Yale paper will be over-ridden by the huge mothers of calluses from Time Magazine! _ Time Magazine!_"

Rory widened her eyes as another surge of excitement went through her.

"Eep!"

Abruptly, Lorelai stopped and looked at her funny. With a raised eyebrow, "'Eep'?"

"Yeah, 'Eep'."

"That's what they taught you up in that New Haven Hell?"

Rory grinned and tucked her hair behind her ears, "I'm just in an uncontainable state of glee that I feel the urge to say, 'Eep!'"

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "You are--Oh, my God."

Rory turned to see what her mother was gaping at and saw Luke grabbing Kirk by the lapels of his jacket, shaking the poor man with an intimidating glare. His yells floated gently to them, "Kirk, if you don't get that Goddamn camera out of my face I will turn yours into hamburger!"

With an apologetic look at Rory, Lorelai quickly said, "Congratulations, Hun, but I have to go before Luke tries to fry Kirk's face."

Shaking her head, she went over to a table and took a flute of champagne. She took a small sip, sighing as the bubbles danced around her throat and warmed her on its way down.

People walked around the town square, laughing and dancing at the festivities. At one side of the gazebo, a huge banner hung with the words, "To roughly 20 years of pining: To Luke and Lorelai!" Rory stood by the side, taking the joy all in, a tiny smile of amusement for her town dancing on her lips. Her gaze traveled towards the dance floor, where a small group of little kids were trying to dance the Swing.

But one figure stood still, on the other side of the party, beside the gazebo, in the darkness. As they made eye contact, she froze, dropping the slender glass to the ground, spilling its contents all over the grass.

Jess, decked in a crisp dark grey suit, stared back at her with a cold expression. 

He raised his champagne flute at her and sipped.


	3. two

**CHAPTER TWO**

Jess mentally smacked himself as he felt his chest do a triple Mc-Twist with a frontside fakie. His slender hands trembled at Rory's confused gaze as he pulled his champagne glass away from him. She started towards him slowly, afraid that he might not be real. With a puff of determination, he straightened up to meet her. 

This was it. The moment he was dreading was finally happening. He had thought about this moment so much for the past few years that it made him dizzy. Everything was rushing back to him as Rory came closer. The kiss. Dean. It didn't make sense that he would still be feeling this way. He should have been over it by now. He knew that he had fallen for Rory (quite hard) in the past, but he didn't think that those feelings could linger within him for so long. Now, standing before him was the very person haunting him, and what he would do next was just beyond him. 

But Rory's "Be Impulsive When You See Jess" Syndrome, which introduced itself during an oddly similar encounter, once again kicked in. He saw a shivering smile grace her lips before she suddenly threw her arms around his neck, pulling him close. 

She smelled different, but not bad. It was a more grown-up, fruity scent, replacing the fresh and clean one that he was accustomed to. Not that he minded. He wanted to hug her back so bad, and he was about to. However, as Rory's arms made contact with his skin, a picture of her with Dean flashed into his mind again. Dean and Rory. Kissing.

He stiffened. He didn't mean to be so harsh, and it was no surge of anger that went through him; just a quick jolt of pain followed by a lingering feeling of sadness. Rory was on the verge of delivering a soliloquy about her missing him so much when she felt him go rigid in her arms. Slowly, she pulled back and looked at him sadly.

Jess was stoic as he heard her hoarsely say, "It's still not the same, is it?"

He gave no instant reply, but instead looked away and rubbed the back of his neck where the feeling of Rory Gilmore hung on him. Quietly, he opened his lips, "It'll never _be_ the same, Rory."

Rory stared at him and felt the sharp pang in her nose every time she was about to cry. With tears ironically making her eyes dance, she nodded subtly, understanding his response.

"I'll see you around," he offered with the civility that Rory wasn't used to.

She forced a smile, "Yeah." 

Again, Jess took a deep breath and walked away, yet again, from Rory Gilmore.

*** 

The Diner was quiet and dim when Jess entered it. A light from the storage room lit his path. As he ambled over to the small room, he could hear thick glass clinking together, and once he was close enough, Luke's bitterness, "It's my Goddamn engagement party, and they ask _me_ to get more beer? Stupid town..."

"Alcohol in a party with minors involved? You should be ashamed, Luke."

Luke quickly straightened from a box of beer on the ground when he heard a familiar voice. He whipped around and saw Jess by the doorway, leaning on its wooden frame with his arms folded in front of him. It had been a while since Jess was here. The last time Luke saw him was maybe three years earlier, when he personally collected his belongings, seeing as Luke wasn't going to pay U-Haul to ship a box of CD's and a cabinet of books to where he was. It was a bittersweet meeting, now a bittersweet memory.

"Hey. Jess. We kind of ran out of…" A slight pause as Luke realized what his nephew was wearing, "Is that a suit?"

Jess smirked and pushed his weight against the doorframe to saunter towards his uncle, "I think so. I'd hate to think that this was actually the new style of bikinis or something."

"Jess."

"You must admit that fashion these days has become quite… _odd_, which is truly an understatement, Luke."

Luke was kind of surprised at the breeding he heard in Jess's way of speaking, and actually in his air altogether. The awkward hoodlum had somehow disappeared, leaving behind a composed young man. In a suit. "Why the hell are you in a suit?"

"You don't like it?"

There he went again, beating around the Goddamn conversational bush. Luke supposed that even though Jess had seemingly grown up, he was still the same annoying boy he had taken care of all those years before. "No, I'm just wondering why you come with it."

"Package deal, Lucas."

"Stop saying my name, dammit! And it's _Luke_."

"And I'm Jess."

Hell, this boy was infuriating. With the constant baiting and use of it, even Luke himself was getting sick of his own name. He gritted his teeth, ready to smash the box of beer on his head, "Jess, _where did you get the Goddamn suit_?!"

"HRM."

"You're a tax man?"

Jess rolled his eyes at the picture of him behind an H&R Block desk stacked with tax forms and bills and other tax-y whatnot. "Hotel and Restaurant Management, Luke."

"Busboy?"

"Owner."

Luke's face kind of flinched, but he recovered. He was evidently doing good for himself, "I see."

"We're… we're still starting out, so we're no _Bellagio_." Jess smirked again, "Yet."

Luke gave him a suspicious glare, "You don't run one of those Las Vegas Ho-Jo's, do you?" The image of Jess managing a cathouse, while gross, wasn't that hard to picture. And the way he was smirking at Luke wasn't really helping any.

"No. But we're working our way up to Motel 69 status."

Luke rolled his eyes, "Who is this '_we'_?" 

Jess suddenly realised his slipup and while other people would have missed the small flex of his jaw, Luke was all too familiar with it. Jess wasn't telling the whole story, "Me."

His uncle moved closer to him, one eye creepily resembling Columbo's, "Who're the other people?"

"What other people?"

"The ones you keep mentioning."

"I haven't mentioned anyone else."

"So, you just take pleasure in referring to yourself in the plural form?"

"Maybe," A-ha. The vague "I don't know" line. Luke was getting warmer. One more whack and the information would be finally spit out and laid on the floor, naked and exposed.

"Jess," Luke said firmly.

The boy bit his lip and sheepishly grinned, "My fiancé."

Luke's eyebrow shot up and his eye started to twitch, "_What?"_ He had expected, "My loan shark," or something pertaining to the Underworld, but this was a whole new twist. 

Jess breathed an exasperated sigh, "Do I really have to say it again?"

"You're wearing a suit, you run a _Bellagio_-esque hotel, and _you have a fiancé?!"_

"In a nutshell, pretty much."

"Do I even _know_ you?!"

"Wedding's in eight months. Black-tie," Jess said, contrasting Luke's disbelief as he calmly handed him an invitation. 

Luke simply looked at Jess's outstretched hand in suspicion. "You're giving me an invitation for a wedding that's eight months away?"

"This is where you take the card and say, 'Thanks, Jess,'" the boy offered, as if what he said was actually useful. His uncle furrowed his eyebrows as he took and opened the card. With wide eyes, he looked up at Jess.

"Hell. No."

His nephew's eyes darted everywhere except at him. He cleared his throat in what seemed to be nervous silence.

"Jess, do you hear me? I won't be your best man."

"You can bring Lorelai, if you want."

"Don't you have any other friends?"

"Free room at Motel 69."

"Or were you really that antisocial as a kid?"

Luke was surprised when Jess didn't answer. His heart suddenly went to his throat when Jess raised his eyes to meet his, "Come on, Luke." He pleaded lightly, "Please?" It wasn't an easy task for him, saying that word, but there it was. It was an unspoken admission, but it was deafening. Jess had nobody else. Luke never saw so much despair in Jess. Ever.

With a frustrated sigh, he rolled his eyes and nodded, "I can't believe I'm doing this."

Jess didn't smile, but a pleased look washed over his features, making him look like he was ten years old again, and not twenty-four.

"Thank you," he said in an almost dignified manner, which kind of freaked Luke out. He looked more like a politician than a businessman, and if there was anything Luke hated more than a businessman in a suit, it was a politician in a suit.

"That room better have a mini-bar." 


	4. three

**CHAPTER THREE**  
  
It had been five months since Rory was hired for Time Magazine, and frankly, things weren't as snazzy as she'd thought. Of course, the main reason being that the coffee here wasn't that far away from becoming actual mud.  
  
It's true. The coffee in Time Magazine, one of the most prestigious magazines in the world, had disastrous   
coffee.  
  
Rory, now sitting in her spacious office, sighed as she gulped down the crap. Then her assistant came barging in with a stack of papers and envelopes. She fixed the pointed glasses that rested on top of her nose and began to talk rapid-fire, "Appointment with Salazar cancelled; Greg wants to know if you're free this Friday; your dentist called, your teeth suck; Blockbuster called, you haven't returned Funny Girl, therefore you suck; the fan that bordered on stalker called again, message: 'Hi Miss Gilmore, I loved your latest article on New York.'; aaand," her assistant shuffled the little pieces of paper that she used to write Rory's messages in and picked out a pink one, "And, apparently, Zaza Gabor, Meryl Streep, Joe Montana and Nicole Kidman also called. Message: 'Whee, Rory. I have news. Call me.'"  
  
Rory sat there, unmoving. Finally, after the whole diatribe set in, she twitched her lip and thanked her.  
  
The assistant merely nodded and exited her office.  
  
Once alone, Rory flew to the corner of her table, grabbing the phone with her.  
  
Lorelai screamed as she heard the phone ring, "RORY!"  
  
Luke, who had been asleep on the couch, sprang up suddenly and reached for a weapon. Holding the vase threateningly, he quickly spoke, "What? What is it?" He turned his head and saw Lorelai reach for the phone, "Jesus, Lorelai. Give me a freaking heart attack, will you?"  
  
But Lorelai was long gone.  
  
"RORY!" she screamed to the phone.

"I see you're cool and collected," her daughter said from the other side of the line.  
  
"As always. I'm glowing like a radioactive rose as well."  
  
"What's the news, O Botanical One?" Rory suddenly felt like she was in a shampoo commercial. She rolled her eyes and shifted the phone up against her shoulders as she reached for her crap-for-coffee.  
  
"Are you ready for this?"  
  
"Depends," she tipped the mug up towards her lips.  
  
"Are you sitting down?"  
  
"I am." The echo of her reply went into the mug and bounced to her face, making her feel and sound funny, like she was in a deep tunnel. Tunnel of mud.  
  
"Rory, how do you feel about… A NEW BROTHER-SLASH-SISTER?!"

Lorelai was smiling so much it actually was hurting her face. But she didn't care. She had the best news in the world, for crying out loud! She made a little dance as she waited for Rory's reply.  
  
"I feel deaf in one ear, that's how I feel."  
  
She stopped dancing.  
  
"Rory!"  
  
There was silence. Lorelai felt like a Charlie Chaplain comment coming on. But as soon as she was about to deliver it, Rory's voice came tumbling over from the receiver, "Wait a minute… AAAHHHH!!! You're having a baby!"  
  
With a wave of her hand to Luke and a my-kid's-gone-go-go look, "YES!"  
  
"Oh, my God. I'll be having another sibling, I mean, besides Gigi. A real one! Well, a half one. The other half, I mean. God, this is getting confusing."  
  
"The ability for things to sink in has run away from you also, it seems." Lorelai put her hand to her hip, touched by a bit of the Annoyance Fairy.  
  
Rory put her head against the hard wooden tabletop and mumbled to the phone, "Yeah, I know. I've just been so tired lately. And the coffee thing isn't working…"  
  
"I pity you."  
  
"I…"  
  
"Without that glorious coffee by your side…" Lorelai sat and shifted over to Luke as he put a protective arm around her. She sighed at the sweet gesture.

"Well…"  
  
"And a nice strong man hugging you…" With that, Luke chuckled.  
  
"Mom?"  
  
Lorelai closed her eyes and leaned against Luke, "Yeah?"  
  
"You suck."  
  
Luke started to trail little kisses down her neck, making Lorelai giggle, "I know."  
  
***  
  
"Okay, the flowers go over there, and the servers stand over here while the couple make their speeches…" Sasha Gregory said as she watched the big men take a huge silk banner up above the hall door. She smiled as she saw her fiancé walk towards her. She put one of the rose blooms in her hair as she pretended to wait like a princess for her prince.  
  
Sasha's prince smirked at her and gave her a long kiss when he reached her.  
  
"You are getting too sexy for your own good, sir."  
  
Jess chuckled, a low rumbling sound, and took her hand in his, "It'll be one hell of a wedding night then, huh?"  
  
She smiled coyly at him and whispered something in his ear which made him guffaw with surprise. "I'll see you tonight?" he asked.  
  
"Of course." Sasha copied Jess' smirk and kissed him on the lips once again, "Now get out of here before I get arrested for rape."  
  
Jess just smiled and walked away, "We wouldn't want that to happen."

***

"Miss Gilmore?" Rory's assistant said as she poked her head into her office. Rory looked up from her computer and took off her glasses, "Yes?"  
  
"Miss Sims wants to see you."  
  
A shudder went down Rory's spine. She squinted an eye at her assistant and whispered, "Do you know what this is about?"  
  
Her only answer came in the form of a shrug and a twist of her hair in her finger.  
  
Rory took a deep breath and stood, her frame trembling like a cell phone on vibrate mode, and when you make it stand up on its edges it dances and it's all funny and...

Right, rambling. It was all because of her scary boss. Her boss, Miss. Sims, was a mean, mean woman. A lady of big build, it was believed that she was in the WWF once. The rumor circulated around the office for a while, until the source of the gossip mysteriously disappeared from the office.  
  
Shaking like a leaf (a shorter and more ramble-free comparison), she walked over to her boss' office. The stares she got made Rory feel like she was being sent to the principal's office for playing with the school sprinklers. When she got there, she felt like she was going to pass out. Instead, she took a deep breath, opened the door and went inside.  
  
"Gilmore." the tall woman called in an authoritative voice.  
  
Rory felt herself flinch at the power in the woman's voice, "Yes?"  
  
"I was planning on giving you the Brazil story, but now I've changed my mind."  
  
Rory gulped, not knowing what to say to that.  
  
"You're a talented writer, Miss Gilmore."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"You have a nice flair for this kind of serious stuff." Miss Sims went towards her desk and opened a folder, a folder of what seemed to be all her past articles. She looked at Rory knowingly, which made her worry even more.  
  
"Where are you going with this?"  
  
"The Writer's Guild of New York, or some council crap like that, a new group of know-it-all bastards, are having a prize-giving ceremony for New York's best writers."  
  
Rory felt a ghost of a weight flee from her chest as she realised that this wasn't going to be her last day in _Time Magazine_, "And you want me to cover it?"  
  
"No. You're one of the writers they're honoring."  
  
Rory froze. "Heh?" Well, this took her off-guard. Seriously, no guards whatsoever. They all ran away in surprise.  
  
"They want to give you some medal or certificate, the usual trash you get in a ceremony."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Miss Sims studied her closely, "Yeah. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that because the ceremony thing's in two weeks, and they want you to come and get your party-pack for writing so well."  
  
"Oh, I…"

She wasn't finished. "It's going to be at some fancy hall or ballroom or whatever. I'll give you the rest of the details tomorrow in a memo. I'm giving the Brazil story to Walters. That guy's got nothing to do anyway. Take a break, come back in three weeks or you're fired."  
  
"O-okay. Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome. Get out."  
  
"I'm on it."  
  
The phone in her office rang and Miss Sims waved Rory away to answer it.  
  
The Writers' Guild of New York--or some crap like that, want to honour her for her work.

Eep!


	5. four

**CHAPTER FOUR**  
  
As Jess tightened his new silk tie around his neck, he inadvertently glanced at the latest issue of _Time Magazine_. Ignoring the tie that now hung loose on him, he picked it up. Flipping through it, he suddenly smirked when he saw the name "by Lorelai Gilmore." His eyes slowly scanned the article quietly. Then he looked up and picked up the tattered copy of _Howl_ that lay on his bookcase.  
  
Suddenly, the door swung open, making him drop the things he was carrying. He used his foot to kick the magazine and the book under his desk as he yanked on his tie.  
  
"We have new guests," Sasha said as she sauntered towards him.  
  
He merely cracked a grin and nodded. When Sasha reached him, she lightly pushed his hands aside to do his tie for him. She was standing so close he could smell her hair.  
  
"You know I love you, don't you?" she asked, looking into his eyes.  
  
Jess' eyes shifted to the spot under the desk where the memoirs of Rory Gilmore lay, and then shifted them back to his fiancé. His fiancé who would never hurt him the way Rory did him. They way she hurt him twice.  
  
"Of course, I do." he whispered and leaned down to kiss her.

*  
  
"There, sir. She is one of our 'special' customers. The Literary Committee of Manhattan is paying us a very handsome price for us to take care of her." Jess' assistant, Bradley, said in a hushed tone.  
  
Jess looked up from his watch and saw a dark haired woman sling her purse over her shoulder. He nodded and walked over to her. With a slight bow of his head, Jess dismissed the busboy. The teenager, shaking and terrified of his boss, gulped and walked away.  
  
Rory yawned and leaned down to take her luggage with her, but later realized that it was gone. She whipped around quickly and might as well have been shot in the face with a cannonball. She found Jess Mariano--_Jess Mariano_, with a look that matched her surprise. He clutched her bags tightly as he shook the look off his face.  
  
"I..."  
  
"Jess."  
  
"I didn't mean to startle you."  
  
Rory gulped and twiddled her thumbs. "Yeah, me neither."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Jess bit his lip at the discomfort of their situation. He abruptly dropped her suitcases to the floor and stepped back, "I'm sorry I took your bags."  
  
Rory put up her hand and shook her head, "No, that's okay. You didn't know they were mine."  
  
He was trying to pull a smooth move, as he always did with female priority customers, but apparently, Rory just thought he was too stupid to know that those weren't his bags. Great. "Do you want some help?"  
  
"No, it's fine. The busboy's helping me with them." She nervously looked around for the said busboy. She didn't see Jess motion the teenager back with a quick jerk of his head.  
  
When Rory saw the boy approaching, she breathed a sigh of relief, "Here we go."  
  
Jess cleared his throat, "Oh, okay. Great, then."  
  
"Fabulous."  
  
"Great."  
  
"Fabulous."  
  
"I'll see you around."  
  
"Yeah, you too."  
  
With that, Jess walked away, not believing the encounter he just had and the irony of his situation. He was actually in the same roof with his fiancé, and his ex-girlfriend whom he was desperately trying to forget since he was eighteen.  
  
He reached Bradley later on. With a concerned sideways glance at his employer, Bradley took the plunge and asked, "Are you okay, sir?"  
  
Jess looked up, distracted, "Huh? Yeah, I'm fine."  
  
He walked on, deep in thought, leaving his assistant to figure out what the hell just happened.

*  
  
Rory, with wide eyes, walked towards the elevators quickly, while the poor busboy ran after her with three of her suitcases. Panting, he let her in the elevator and followed her in. Rory leaned against the cool mirror that lined the little cubicle and replayed the scene downstairs again in her mind.  
  
"So, you know Mr. Mariano?"   
  
The crackling voice on the last stages of puberty broke her out of her thoughts. "What?"  
  
"Mr. Mariano. You seemed like you know him," the boy said meekly when Rory focused all her attention to him.  
  
"Yeah, we hung out when we were kids."  
  
"Oh, really?" the boy paused, "Man. I could never imagine Mr. M. as a kid."  
  
She just gave him a weak smile and said, "Oh, I certainly can."  
  
Once in her room and alone, Rory took off her jacket and plopped onto the silk-sheet bed. Her eyes slowly traveled from up the ceiling's intricate lighting, down to the walls' delicate moldings. She lightly touched the carved wooden bedpost with her finger as she remembered:  
  
_"So, do you want to see a movie with me tonight?" Jess asked, as he raised his shoulders in expectation and looked at her through his lashes.  
  
"Tempting, but I can't tonight." Rory said in a soft voice.  
  
His shoulders fell, "Oh, you have that coffee thing with Dean, huh?"  
  
Rory bit her lip as she tucked her arms under his, pulling him close to her. "Yeah, but I promise it'll be just coffee. That's it. My relationship with Dean is just so weird and limbo-esque..."  
  
He looked away and whispered, "I get it."  
  
"Jess, look at me."  
  
He looked down at the ground beside him. Always so stubborn.  
  
"Jess," Rory said quietly as she kissed his cheek softly.  
  
He turned and stared at her sadly, "I just... I don't want..."  
  
"What?" Rory searched his eyes.  
  
"I don't want to lose you, okay? We've been together for almost a year now, and this Dean thing is really getting to me." There. It was out. He threw his hand behind his head and played with his hair, frowning.  
  
"Nothing's going to happen, I promise."  
  
Jess leaned closer, eager to kiss her now. "Can I hold you on to that?"  
  
Rory lightly touched her lips against his, "Is that answer enough?"  
  
He smirked, "Not really."  
  
Rory smiled and was about to say something when Jess pulled her even closer and kissed her.  
_  
Rory jolted up, afraid to remember any more memories. Her hands shook as she reached for the phone, "Mom?"  
  
"Hey, Rory! What's up?"  
  
She took a deep breath to keep herself from becoming dizzier than she already was. Grasping the phone with talon-like fists, she let the words tumble out of her mouth and into the receiver, "I am in a hotel. With Jess Mariano. In Jess Mariano's hotel. He has a hotel. And I'm in it. With him."  
  
"No way! New York is _huge_ and you get stuck in _his_ hotel?"  
  
"Mom, I need you." Rory said, close to tears.  
  
"I'll be in the New York area in a few days."  
  
Rory furrowed her eyebrows. This was certainly news to her. Maybe her mom was going to pass by that new Mega Pottery Barn that just opened and... why the hell was she even speculating when she could just ask her? With a roll of her eyes at her own ridiculousness, she spoke, "Why?"  
  
"He's, um, honey..."  
  
"Mom?" Rory twisted the phone cord in her fingers as she waited for an answer.  
  
"Jess is getting married."  
  
"Come again?"  
  
"He's getting married. We're going to a rehearsal dinner or something."  
  
Rory was breathless, "What? Uh, guh, when is he...?"  
  
"In three months."  
  
Rory felt herself go limp and the room spin. A persistent voice kept repeating itself in her head:  
  
"Jess is getting married. There will never be a second chance. You missed it."  
  
She felt drunk and dizzy. "The hell I did," she mumbled into the phone before she passed out on the floor.  
  
"Rory?" Lorelai's voice called from the ignored phone that lay on the floor, "Rory? Hey, Rory!" 


	6. five

**CHAPTER FIVE**  
  
A slender woman bustled up to Rory's door. She held a bottle of champagne, ready to present it to the guest—compliments of the hotel, of course.  
  
"Room service," she chirped, her voice tinged with a slight Filipino accent.  
  
There was no answer. Seeing that there was no "Do Not Disturb" sign hanging from the doorknob, she proceeded to unlock the door with her key.  
  
"_Ay, Dyusmiyo!_"

*  
  
"Where is she?" Jess asked in a highly commanding tone. He found Rory on the floor, unconscious, still gripping the telephone in one hand. He knelt beside her and gently lifted her in his arms.  
  
"Rory?" he whispered. When she didn't answer, he started to shake her, "_Rory, _come on."  
  
Jess was aware that his employees were looking at them as he tried to revive her. There was going to be gossip tomorrow morning, for sure. But he didn't care.   
  
*  
  
_Jess grinned as he walked by a flower shop. He stopped and looked at them more carefully, a small thought and gesture forming in his mind. Through the windows of Doose's Market, he saw Taylor Dosey scowl.  
  
"I'm not going to steal them, Taylor. Leave me alone."  
  
The old man gave him a small huff and disappeared.  
  
Jess scratched his chin, torn between boring old roses and a cool cactus plant. Roses would be nice because it's all romantic, he guessed. But another glance at the little cactus growth made him think again. He screwed up his mouth and picked the plant off its little pot.  
  
Rory would love this little sucker._  
  
*  
  
But he never got a chance to give it to her. She broke his heart before he could even present it.  
  
Now, holding her in his arms, trying to get her to wake up, Jess squished those thoughts aside, but not before a dark expression quickly passed through his features. He had no idea why that particular moment came back to him, as he held Rory in his arms, but it did.  
  
"Rory," he called again.  
  
This time, he felt her stir. Slowly, she opened her eyes, "Meh?"  
  
He gave her a small grin, "You know, I know I'm good-looking, but I don't think anyone has ever fainted over me…"  
  
She didn't appreciate his attempt at humor. "You're getting married," she said to him softly.  
  
He froze as he realised that he had never mentioned it to her, "Yes, I am." Jess tried to control himself as he felt Rory's light fingers grasp his arm. She was about to say something to him, but apparently changed her mind. Her grip loosened and she staggered to her feet. 

It was awkward, as they were both on the ground. On her way up, Rory accidentally jammed her chest into his face  
  
"Ow." Jess mumbled, not that he didn't enjoy that.  
  
"Sorry." She blushed and put a self-conscious arm over herself.  
  
They looked at each other for a moment, each one feeling so much, but not daring to say a thing.  
  
Finally, Jess looked away and cleared his throat, "Well, uh, I'm glad you're okay now. Don't hesitate to call housekeeping of you ever need anything."  
  
Seeing the champagne bottle that stood on the table, he lifted it slightly.  
  
"I don't know if it was a good idea to give you this, as I'm about to tell you to stay away from the mini-bar, but, compliments of the hotel. From me and… Sasha. And, um, stay away from the mini-bar." He offered her the tiniest of smirks, which lasted for about half a second.  
  
With that, Rory nodded and focused her attention to her feet, while Jess put the bottle back down on the table with a small thud. Then he was gone.  
  
The lady who brought the champagne smiled at Rory in a comforting way, gave her a quick, confused look, and exited the room as well.  
  
"Sasha," she repeated to herself and frowned.  
  
*  
  
_Rory sighed as she and Dean walked towards her house. It was night time, and it was getting colder. The leaves crunched against their shoes, and they walked in companionable silence.  
  
"I missed this," Dean said quietly, looking deeply into his coffee cup.  
  
Rory smiled and nodded, pushing back a big clump of her hair that found its way into her face, "Me too."  
  
He turned to her and sighed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Are you happy? With him, I mean." There was a trace of exasperation when he said it.  
  
Rory looked at the ground, "Yes."  
  
He just nodded and rubbed the back of his neck, "Do you love him?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing, nevermind." Dean shook his head in embarrassment, realising that questions like that were not welcome anymore.  
  
Rory looked away, "I don't know yet."  
  
"Did you love me?"  
  
Confused as to why Dean was asking all of this, Rory looked up, "Of course."  
  
Then it happened. She wasn't sure how, but Dean was suddenly kissing her. And for the life of her, Rory found herself kissing him back. She really did miss him. But reality soon set in.  
  
She broke away.  
  
"No. I can't do this."  
  
A small snap came from behind them, and they both turned to see Jess. He didn't look mad. But Rory knew he was furious. The way he clutched the bag he was holding was evidence of that. Calmly, he spoke, "Nothing would happen, huh?"  
  
"Jess," Rory pleaded.  
  
He just scoffed. "Don't worry, Rory. It's all okay."  
  
"No, it's not."  
  
"Jess," Dean sighed.  
  
"Don't say anything, Dean. Just don't." Jess looked straight at Rory.  
  
"I guess the better man won, huh? You know, I've been beating my brains out, trying so damn hard to figure out why you would choose me. Everyone thinks I'm not good enough, or good at all, for that matter, for you, Rory. But I didn't care. All I cared about that YOU thought I was good enough. YOU thought I deserved you."  
  
"Jess, don't do this."  
  
"But you know what? You just proved to me wrong, and everyone else right." After a huff, he said to himself, "So what else is new?" _

_He turned and started to walk away. Suddenly, he stopped.  
  
"Please," Rory pleaded so quietly, that only she heard herself speak.  
  
"Rory?"  
  
She bit her lip, "What?" Tears were starting to gather in her eyes.  
  
"Do us both a favor: forget about me, okay?"   
  
Right then, Jess felt sick to his stomach. Nothing was going to make this better, "Just forget I ever existed."  
_  
*  
  
Rory felt a tear roll down her throat as she looked at the champagne bottle. She didn't know why she was crying, over a champagne bottle, none the less, but she was. Jesus, they were eighteen. It was like eons ago. But somehow, this bitter process of renewing memories seemed to foster itself within that point of time in her life.  
  
She just missed him so much. When she felt his arms around her, she was tempted to pretend unconscious, just as an excuse to be embraced by him. But she figured that someone might call an ambulance and everything would go berserk from there, so she decided against it, no matter how bad she wanted his arms around her.  
  
*  
  
Later that night, donning a ratty old t-shirt, Rory trudged out of the bathroom and fell onto the couch. Jon Stewart better be on tonight, or there would be hell to pay. A knock disturbed her little mental note and she stood to answer the door.  
  
There, she found Jess Mariano, hands in his pockets, his shoulders raised. This was the pose that she was familiar with. Every time he shoved his hands in his pockets, he'd raise his shoulders and look at her through his lashes.  
  
And as if on cue, he lowered his head and peered at her. It was weird, but when he stood like that, the awkwardness disappeared. It was just like old times, she guessed.  
  
"Wow, look at you, all tuxedo-ed up."  
  
He smirked, "And look at you… wearing the ugliest shirt known to man."  
  
Rory looked down and bit her lip. She was wearing a torn Bangles t-shirt, bright pink, complete with rhinestones.  
  
"From the Lorelai Gilmore Collection of '89, I suppose?"  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
He shrugged, "Just wanted to check on you, see if you've lost consciousness within the last few hours, attacking the mini-bar, the one main aspect that separates us from the cheap hotels..."  
  
Rory chuckled, falling into the comfort in the situation. "Fully functional and active, I thank you for asking."  
  
"I'll bet."  
  
Rory's eyes shifted around. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth, "Jess…"  
  
He sensed the sudden change in the mood. He was suddenly aware that thinks were going to get complicated and weird again, so he straightened up and cleared his throat, breaking the moment just like that, "Well, I have to go. There's a function downstairs. I'll see you around."  
  
Rory merely nodded and watched him walk away. There was a different aura about Jess Mariano, but somehow, this conversation hinted that things weren't as different as it seemed.  



	7. six

**CHAPTER SIX**  
  
With a sigh, Rory came out of her bathroom in a sleek silk gown. She smoothed out the wrinkles that the white fabric had with the back of her hand. It was the night of the awards ceremony, and to be perfectly honest, having seen Jess and realising that she wanted him quite badly made the big plaque thing seem like a girl-scout patch in comparison.  
  
"Here I am, wearing the most beautiful dress, and I have no date," she muttered, making a spiral with her finger, "Woo-hoo for me."  
  
She reached down towards the tabletop and picked up one of the dangling earrings that Lorelai had given her. Well, lent her. She proceeded to pull her long hair up, but decided against it. She liked her hair down.  
  
She bit her lip.  
  
Fine, so Jess liked her hair down, too. It wasn't a big thing. So they both liked the way her hair looked when it was down. Psh. She slowly rubbed her lip gloss on, giving her lips a nice sparkly sheen.  
  
"When did I turn into this make-uppy flouf?" she asked herself as she frowned at the mirror.  
  
Again, she sighed.  
  
"When you saw Jess for the first time in years, that's when," a voice inside her said in a highly sarcastic tone, which Rory did not appreciate.  
  
*  
  
Rory slowly walked out of the elevator clutching a small purse and the side of her dress, as not to get it caught on things. Her shoes clicked elegantly on the smooth marble surface of the lobby as she made her way into the giant ballroom, almost getting lost within the spacious expanse of the building. It was hard to believe that the owner of this place actually used to bus tables and snap at Kirk Gleason for ordering a Luke-McNuggets a few years ago.  
  
She stopped by the door where a server was waiting.  
  
"Do you have an escort, ma'am?" the elderly man whispered into her ear.  
  
Rory pursed her lips, caught into a corner, "No, no date, unfortunately. A shame, huh?"  
  
The server merely nodded and gave her a friendly smile. Then, it suddenly disappeared and he stood straighter than before. 

"No date?" a deep voice whispered into Rory's ear from behind her. 

She closed her eyes at the mortification that would surely await her. She turned around, "No, Jess, no date. Shut up."  
  
From the corner of his eye, Jess saw the elderly server crack a grin at Rory's language towards his employer. "Well, then," Jess said in a no-nonsense tone as he held out his arm to her, waiting for a response. Rory lowered her eyes and hesitated. He nudged her with his elbow when she still hadn't moved. He rolled his eyes, "Just take it, for crying out loud."  
  
The old man's eyes twinkled.  
  
Rory looked up at Jess with playful defiance as she linked her arm into his. With a proud smile on his face, Jess nodded to the server and led Rory into the ballroom. The old man winked at him and nodded in return.  
  
*  
  
He sat her down onto a table by the front of the room and took his own seat next to her, "You are really going to be my date for this thing?"  
  
Jess smirked, "Of course. Wouldn't want the star of the night spend this joyful occasion alone."  
  
Rory didn't know what to say. She opened her mouth to reply, but she couldn't think of anything. She jumped when Jess took her hand in his and squeezed it in a comforting gesture.  
  
A friendly gesture.  
  
Erm, a brotherly gesture, even.  
  
But in spite of herself, Rory felt her heart skip. She sighed at herself for being so stupid.  
  
*  
  
"…and we present this award to Miss Lorelai Gilmore for her outstanding performance as a writer and journalist."  
  
Jess saw Rory smile uncomfortably and gather her dress to stand. The crowd started to clap as she made her way up to the little stage that he himself had set up earlier. One look at her up there, glowing both with pride and modesty, Jess felt his own chest puff up with its own dose of pride. Pride for Rory, that is.  
  
"Thank you so much for giving me this award…" she started. She tucked her hair behind her ear and stole a glance and Jess. She gave him a huge smile and continued on with her speech. Jess felt a smile involuntarily grace his features as he stood and gave her more applause.  
  
*  
  
_DING._  
  
The elevator abruptly stopped. Both Rory and Jess stepped out, along with a big awkward tension the size of a Buick.   
  
"So," Rory said. Swinging her plaque back and forth in front of her. She didn't even seem aware of what she was doing, or what she could do, with the sharp edge precariously close to cutting Jess' stomach. He decided to take matters in his own hands, and the plaque, too, for his own safety.  
  
"Congratulations," Jess remarked as he examined the little glass award.  
  
Rory laughed nervously and eyed the award as well. "Thank you."  
  
He suddenly looked up at her and her heart stopped. Jess smiled faintly at the connection, rather aware (and confused to some point) that the tension was slowly fizzing away.  
  
"I miss you, Jess."  
  
He sighed, and Rory just had to refill the glass with it's carbonated presence. However, despite himself, he found himself replying to her confession. "I miss you, too." 

He handed the plaque back to her, "It's just annoying because things are so weird between us all of a sudden."  
  
Rory's mouth turned up, "It was always weird."  
  
Jess copied her smirk, understanding her meaning, "Ah, but that was a good weird. It was that kind of feeling where your heart gets excited all the time and you're uncomfortable because it's so embarrassing to be so close to each other…"  
  
"Noted, and agreed."  
  
They started walking towards her room again.  
  
"Rory?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Will you go to the wedding?"  
  
The wedding? The wedding? Oh, God. Rory racked her brain, trying to find a good excuse, "Um, sure."  
  
And what an excuse she formulated. A wide smile appeared onto Jess' face, making him look like he did when he was seventeen. And her boyfriend. Jealousy reared up its ugly head and set itself upon Rory's shoulder. She glanced at Jess quickly and found herself fighting the urge to kiss him.  
  
She never wanted to admit it, but standing in front of Jess, with him in that suit, with her in this dress. The jolt she felt when she saw the smile that was comfortably perched on his face only proved it further.  
  
She still lo-iked Jess. A lot.  
  
And it hit her like lightning and a ton of bricks, plus an anvil on her head: there was no way in hell that this wedding was going on. No way in hell.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
Just as Rory was about to enter her room, Jess suddenly jumped, struck with an idea, "Hey, are you free tomorrow night?"  
  
"Yes, I have no life, apparently."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Thanks, I'm just swooning at the compliment that you find me so interesting."  
  
"Well, we can have dinner tomorrow."  
  
Rory's hopes went up, even though she tried her best to squash them aside. She and Jess were having dinner tomorrow.  
  
Jess, however, had other things in mind, "You can meet Sasha."  
  
He smiled at her for a while and then walked away, leaving Rory with the fakest smile ever. Of course, he didn't notice it. Or the little twitch in her eye that somehow developed within the last two seconds.  
  
While he was unaware of Rory's reaction, he was suddenly occupied with the realization that he was going to have dinner tomorrow night with both his fiance and his ex-girlfriend.  
  
_DING._  
  
"God damn, what have I done?" he mumbled to himself as he got in.  



	8. seven

**CHAPTER SEVEN**  
  
Jess yawned as he stepped out of the bathroom. This was it. His doom. All hell would break lose and he would probably burst into flames right about now. With an exaggerated twist of his mouth, he adjusted his tie and shrugged his coat on.  
  
"You ready?" Sasha asked while sitting on the bed patiently, playing with her shoe.  
  
Jess cleared his throat and smirked at her, "Almost."  
  
"How'd you score a dinner with Lorelai Gilmore, anyway?" she asked as she slung her shoes on.  
  
"Uh, we're sort of childhood friends. Buds."  
  
Sasha raised an eyebrow at him and gathered her long, curly hair up. "Childhood buds?"  
  
"Yup. Keep it down, I like it that way."  
  
She smiled and let go of her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders. "What's she like?"  
  
"She's…" Jess tried to think of a word to describe Rory, "intelligent."  
  
"Oh. Really."  
  
"But she's not too hot in the conversational aspect. She, uh," he chuckled, "she tends to ramble a lot, actually." An image of Rory Gilmore, all flustered and backed into a corner popped into his mind, making him smile with bitter amusement.  
  
They both finished dressing up after a minute and a last look at each other, they headed out the door. But just before they exited the room, Jess took hold of Sasha's arm and gave her a kiss on the lips.  
  
"Nervous?"  
  
Jess' mouth turned up once again, "Just a bit."  
  
Her eyes twinkled playfully and she slowly took his hand in hers. Her sweetness was calming.  
  
***  
  
Rory's heart was beating faster than she could breathe. She gathered her hair into a simple ponytail. Then she took it out again. Then she tied it up again. She huffed at the abuse she was putting her own follicles in just to look good.  
  
Her plan was simple: to look better than this Sasha woman.  
  
She deliberately picked a daring dark blue dress for the occasion, got her nails done, and curled her hair. Yep, she looked good. This was further assured by the appreciative glances of other men as she walked past the lobby and into the restaurant.  
  
Now, if she could just pull it off in front of Jess, she'd be happy as a goat on Tuesday.  
  
***  
  
The restaurant was a quiet little bistro located within the hotel. There was a nice ambiance to the place, more suited for romantic dates, as opposed to bringing your ex-girlfriend and fiancé to dinner at the same time. But even McDonald's would be hard to handle, given Jess's situation.  
  
Jess and Sasha were quickly showed to their table, where they spent a few minutes talking softly, both nervous for the imminent meeting. However, one seemed more agitated than the other. And that one was Jess. 

A few minutes later, Rory arrived, all glamorous and, well... hot. As Rory came closer, Jess' smirk grew wider.  
  
"My God, you look gorgeous, Miss Gilmore," Sasha said with a bright smile.  
  
Rory smiled back and shook Sasha's hand. "You don't look so bad yourself, Miss Gregory."  
  
Rory dared a quick glance at Jess and was suddenly nervous. He knew. He knew exactly why she had dressed up the way she did. Jess had his "I'm about to say something that will incriminate you" look on his face. Rory clutched her napkin as she readied herself for the blow.  
  
Attending the Academy Awards after our dinner?  
  
I didn't know it was prom night…  
  
I hope you didn't dress up just for me…  
  
"You look good."  
  
With that, Rory mentally smacked Jess in the head. "You look good."? That was it? Not even an appreciative yet annoyingly witty remark? All this work and she just "looks good."?  
  
"So do you, Regis."  
  
***  
  
The evening went on surprisingly well, much to both Jess and Rory's expectations. Sasha was a sweet girl, and was so in love with Jess.  
  
Shortly, though, Bradley came up beside Jess. "Sir, we have a slight problem with one of our guests…"  
  
Jess nodded and excused himself, saying that he would be back in a while, leaving the two women on their own.  
  
A short silence fell upon them both. Rory pursed her lips, racking her brains for something to say. Sasha smiled at her gently and played with her napkin.  
  
Suddenly, in a flash of conversational idea, Rory spoke, "So, has Jess forced any new books on you, yet?"  
  
Sasha was taken aback for a moment at Rory's sudden question, but Jess had warned her about that. "Oh, Jess doesn't read," she said with a small wave of her hand.  
  
Rory's eyebrow shot up so high and so quick, it was wonder why the ceiling hadn't come crashing down by the impact. "He doesn't read?"  
  
"No, he says that books are for 'those Bohemian dreamers that live off hemp and coffee'," she replied with an amused grin touching her features. It was obvious that she was replaying the moment in her head.  
  
"Really, now."  
  
"Yes. All he reads now is the newspaper and business magazines."  
  
"What about you? Any say on this topic?"  
  
Sasha looked down on her plate, "I don't read a lot, either." She gave Rory an almost apologetic look, "Don't have the time, you see."  
  
"Oh, I see," Rory quickly replied when she realised what she had just implied.  
  
Right then and there was where the whole conversation went to a complete standstill. Both Rory and Sasha sat in uncomfortable silence, trying to fill up the awkward void, but to no avail for either of them.  
  
***  
  
It was two in the morning and Sasha was asleep, curled up like a cat next to Jess. Jess, however, was far from peaceful rest, compared to his fiancé. A small tug at his chest made itself known, and he was suddenly itching for the feeling of the spine of a tattered book once again. Slowly, he slid away from her and put some jeans and an old Nirvana t-shirt, happy to be free of the Goddamn suit and tie getup. He glanced back at her sleeping form once again, and then he was gone.  
  
Jess stepped out into the gardens and took a deep breath. He hadn't been alone for almost a week, and all the fuss was getting to him. Thankful for the isolation, he walked towards a small corner by a little fountain and sat down next to it.  
  
He lay his head back onto the cool marble and just watched the sky. He sighed and pulled out a ratty old copy of _The Sun Also Rises_ from his back pocket and started to read.  
  
"Sasha said you didn't read anymore, if not at all," Rory's voice suddenly said, making Jess look up.  
  
He didn't even miss a beat as he put the old book down on the ground and stood. "You wore that dress to get my attention," he retorted in the same accusing tone.   
  
Rory pulled her coat tighter around herself and glared at him, not knowing what to say next. She stood there, her nose freezing, contemplating again. She hated moments like these, where one was stuck in a point of time, the tension pulling her apart. Hanging by a moment. God, she hated that song.

Jess then raised his eyebrows, his expression taunting her, "What, you gonna run again, Gilmore?" it seemed to ask.

So she walked towards him, grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him with all that she felt, all that she had kept inside. Jess didn't pull away, but instead encouraged her even more. He tenderly put his hands against her face, cradling it as he kissed her. There was an urgency in Rory that somehow appealed to Jess even more, and God help him, he was acting upon it.  
  
At some point, they both realized what they were doing and pushed each other away.  
  
Jess sighed and stepped back, "Damn you, Gilmore." He pushed the mass of curls up and over his forehead, gritting his teeth in frustration.  
  
Rory's lips trembled, "Screw you, Jess," she whispered.  
  
With those parting words, Rory went back inside to her room. Then next morning, she was gone.


	9. eight

**CHAPTER EIGHT**  
  
"Rory, where are you?" Lorelai's voice was high-pitched as she willed her heart to go down to a calmer beat since she'd first heard Rory's, "Hello?" She and Luke had come straight to the Hotel of Horrors in hopes of visiting Rory, but were unpleasantly surprised. She had packed up and checked out the night before.  
  
"Mom. I hate Jess," Rory wailed in a tone that suggested that she was five and Jess had just thrown a handful of sand in her hair.  
  
"Rory, Luke and I just drove a very uncomfortable car-ride to get here, to see you, and maybe get some New York coffee, and when we get here, we find out you're gone. I am pregnant with what seems to be a mountain goat, and I can't reach my toes to paint them. I want to talk to my best friend (Luke, you're my best friend, too, but you're a boy. Luke… No. LUKE, I'm talking to Rory! I love you both, but I need some estrogen.) Now, where are you?" Lorelai frantically said on her crackling cellphone.  
  
Rory's voice was a mere murmur on the phone, "The Holiday Inn."  
  
"Hang on. Give me the address and I'll come get you." It was said so matter-of-factly, and Lorelai was surprised at her own sudden snippiness. She took a pen and wrote the said address on Luke's cheek (it was the only place she could think of writing, as he was standing right in front of her). He tried to fight it, initially, but Lorelai proved to have a very powerful and swaying glare. She nodded, "Okay."  
  
As Lorelai hung up, Luke spoke, "We need to buy you a stockpile of Post-Its. Is she okay?"  
  
"Yeah. She's at the Holiday Inn."  
  
Luke nodded, and walked to the dresser where his car keys were. Just as he was about to put them in his pocket and lead Lorelai out the door, a determined voice stopped them, "Let me drive."

Both of them turned to see Jess by the hotel room doorway. His unruly hair had long been tamed by gel, but at this moment, his locks were left untouched, messy and curling against his forehead. Lorelai suddenly wanted to grab hold of the little jerk's hair and pull the damn thing right off. Instead, she closed her eyes and went to her happy place. "Hormones. They're making you all rage-ey. Take a deep breath, and you'll be fine," she murmured to herself.  
  
"Jess, I don't think you should come with me. I could accidentally fall on you on purpose, squash you and not even notice. I'm only five months pregnant, but I swear to God, I can eliminate you in a snap," she thumbed Luke, who was behind her, "Luke knows."  
  
"Lorelai…" Luke sighed.  
  
But Lorelai was not to be interrupted or swayed (Luke's glare was nothing compared to hers), "Luke, this is my daughter, and well, kind of yours, too. Jess, you've hurt her too many times. I don't think she'll be too eager to see you."  
  
She furrowed her eyebrows when Jess's jumped up to his hairline. He gave her a pompously bitter laugh and looked straight at her, "_I've_ hurt her?! Are you crazy? She's strangled my heart to death, resuscitated it, and strangled it again for the past six years. Lorelai, all I want is to talk to her."  
  
"No." Her snippiness suddenly came back, full force. Only now the harshness didn't surprise her at all.  
  
"Lorelai!" Jess whined. He actually whined. Lorelai raised her eyebrow at him and put her hand on her hip. Seeing that he had just something out of his own character, Jess cleared his throat and said in a cold, civil tone, "Fine, Lorelai, have it your way," and stepped out adjusting his tie uncomfortably.  
  
"Gilmores," he muttered on his way to the elevator.  
  
Lorelai rushed to Rory's room the second the car came to a stop. Carefully, she opened the wooden door, peering inside first, before coming in. Inside, she found her little girl, tucked under the covers, the space on the bed beside her littered with tear-soaked tissues.  
  
"Rory," she called softly, "Mommy's here. She's kind of big, but hopefully she can still gather you into a nice hug. And not a death grip."  
  
Slowly, Rory opened her swollen eyes and welcomed her mother's embrace. Her voice cracked, thick with sleep and crying, "Mom."  
  
They lay on the bed together, just like that, holding each other; one sniffing silently, one stroking the other's hair. Rory's fingers were holding on to Lorelai a little tightly, like talons of an eagle, but Lorelai didn't think that it was a good time to point that out. Eventually, the story came out, after a little bit of prodding. The dinner, the dress, the kiss. The truth.  
  
Her mother could say nothing but, "Oh, Rory."   
  
Lorelai led her daughter out the door and towards the car. And as Lorelai was about to open the car door, a voice spoke, "Come back, Rory."  
  
Rory gulped and froze. She turned and saw Jess leaning against an expensive looking car, his arms crossed in front of him. Lorelai frowned, and just as she was about to tell him off, Jess spoke again. And his actions gat him another glare from Lorelai, as she wasn't one to be cut off. However, Jess didn't seem to care at this point. His mind was on one thing, "I apologise for the other night. I didn't mean to be so harsh. I'd be honoured to have you as my fr-," he stopped himself, and continued with another word, "...guest again."  
  
Jess pursed his lips as Rory squinted at him. "Why?" she asked. She didn't care if she sounded like a spaz. She wanted to know, and dammit, she had the right to! He suddenly looked down at his shoes, unwilling to say.  
  
"Why, Jess?" she insisted.  
  
He ran his hand through his messy hair and surrendered. He took a deep breath, "I don't like how things are like between us." He surrendered, but not completely. He wasn't stupid, no matter how Rory's presence may affect him.  
  
"And the kiss?"  
  
Oh, God, the kiss. Sweet nostalgia. "Means nothing," he lied, "I want to start over."  
  
Rory felt a slight pang as Jess merely pushed the kiss aside, but her want to be as close to Jess as possible (even if they'd just be friends) overrode her feelings. They had a special thing, both of them were aware of this. It went further than that of love, jealousy, or lust. They had history. And neither wanted to lose that connection, for one only experiences that rarely in life.  
  
But if both of them wanted to be in denial, so be it. Let the masquerade begin.  
  
"Okay."

She walked towards Lorelai's car and got in, without another word. Jess stood still clutching the doorframe to his car, suddenly very nervous of the things to come.


	10. nine

**CHAPTER NINE**

Luke looked around the ballroom with a small smile in his face. He was both surprised and happy that Jess had done so well for himself. Everything about the rehearsal dinner was elegant yet welcoming, and the lights were a soft glow instead of harsh beams that hurt his eyes. The room was a big contrast to the old Jess' taste, which were flaming skulls and spikes and leather. He sighed at the memory, relieved that those days were finally over.

"So, does it meet your impossibly high standards, Uncle Luke?" Jess suddenly said, coming from behind him. Luke's face twitched at the old nickname.

Adjusting his tie, which made him so near strangulation, Luke nodded and said, "You did a good job, Jess. I'm, ah, I'm proud of you."

Jess also nodded, albeit slighter than Luke but didn't reply. He shifted his eyes towards somewhere at the back. His uncle turned to see what he was looking at.

It was Lorelai, talking to the other guests with a broad smile on her face.

"How are things with the missus?" he asked, sipping a glass of champagne.

"Don't call her that," he snapped. But after a second, Luke calmed. "We're doing okay, thanks for asking."

Jess raised an eyebrow, "Just 'okay'? I distinctly remember many a night of you wiping an already-clean counter in deep, profound thought as to how to go about pining for Lorelai without her noticing."

Luke scoffed, "I didn't pine."

His nephew rolled his eyes, "Please, I could practically hear the inner-soliloquies and inner-battles against yourself raging around in that creepy brain of yours." Jess took another sip.

"You better drink that champagne carefully, Jess, I don't want you taking a big gulp and choking and very possibly die in two seconds."

Jess smirked, "The winds of change seem to be making a U-turn with our wit, huh?"

"Shut up, Jess. Get away from me. Go mingle with some old guys. There," Luke pointed at an elderly man, "he looks like a blast to strike a conversation with."

"Luke, that's one of my servers."

"He looks interesting. With that silver… tray of partially-cooked and evenly-sliced fish guts on rye crackers."

"Hey, my cook is a three-hundred pound ex-convict from Malaysia. Watch it."

Suddenly, Jess felt someone wrap their arms around his waist. He smiled and titled his head a bit, "Luke, this is Sasha."

Sasha slowly came out from behind Jess and graciously put her hand forward. Luke smiled uneasily and took it.

"Luke Danes, I'm Jess's uncle."

"Mr. Danes, it's a pleasure to meet you," she said, her voice easy and accommodating, "I'd love to talk more, but I'm afraid that I have to steal your nephew away. We're starting dinner, you see." There was a soft elegance to her tone and it made Luke smile.

He studied Sasha as she and her fiancé spoke, happy that Jess wasn't engaged to some stupid moron with insanely large boobs and a huge mole on the side of her face.

* * *

As everyone sat at their designated tables, the room's noise begun to decline to a whisper. Among them was Rory (in a less revealing number), who was seated next to Lorelai and Luke.

The music died down as Sasha's father stood to make a small toast.

"All my life, I have lived in fear of this day…"

Lorelai leaned into Rory and mumbled, "Oh, God. I hate these damn _Days Of Our Lives_ speeches that go around and around and around, stating just one thing: 'If you ever hurt one hair on her head, there will be Hell to pay, and a shotgun involved. But other than that, congratulations!'"

"… and so, Jess and Sasha, I present this toast to you, wishing you a happy and peaceful life."

"Here, here!" someone cried from the back, and everyone lifted their glasses for the toast.

"To Jess and Sasha!"

"Here, here!"

"To a new life!"

"Here, here!"

Luke suddenly joined in on the little bitter party that Lorelai had started, "Man, these people are such losers. I hope they don't repeat this same speech, or I'll be very far away from 'Here, here!' on the day of the wedding."

"To life and love!"

"Here, here!"

Rory furrowed her eyebrows at Luke, "You have been spending way too much time with my mother. That was supposed to be my line," then she caught herself, "not that I would be saying that, given that this speech was supposed to be for Jess and Sasha. You guys should be happy for Jess!"

"For a happy life!"

"Here, here!"

"Ugh, how many different versions of the life Jess and Sasha will have do we have to hear?"

"To a healthy and lively family!"

"Oh, that's a nice spin to things, don't you think?"

"Here, here!"

"Who _is_ that guy who keeps saying, 'Here, here!'? I want to break his legs." Luke revolved around, surveying the crowd with a frown.

"You guys! Be happy for Jess!"

Lorelai twisted her mouth into a small smirk, "Well, if you look at our subject, he seems to have that 'Please' look that he's mastered over the years."

Her daughter swiveled around in her seat casually to take a peek at Jess. Rory smiled a little as she saw that Jess really was very uncomfortable being the center of attention. It wasn't obvious to others, but Rory remembered a few instances wherein Jess was this tense.

He was stoic as he took in the well-wishers' greetings. His mouth was a straight line, unmoving, his jaw flexed, and his eyes quite dark. Then Rory saw that he was clutching Sasha's hand.

Her face softened. Jess was taking all this stupidity for Sasha, who was smiling widely, yet gently stroking her finance's arm, as if to calm him down.

Rory suddenly imagined that she was Sasha, and that she was beside Jess, meekly accepting the toasts, all the while stroking Jess' arm, maybe playing footsie under the table and then she'd just rip his clothes off and—

Oh, dear.

Rory tried to shake the mental movie that was playing in her head, which was rapidly turning from romantic comedy to full-out porn.

As she came back to reality, she heard a familiar voice.

"As Jess's aunt, ha-ha, there's a thing I never thought I'd say in my life…"

Rory's eyes widened as she realized that Lorelai had jumped in with the toasting, and was now standing with an infamous "Lorelai" stance while holding a glass of soda.

She turned to look at Jess. "I just wanted to congratulate you two, you know, since it's almost your wedding. Jess, you've always been a pain in the neck, but we've learned to co-exist. You know I like you, don't rub it in. Sasha, I am looking forward to you becoming part of the family, although I'm not exactly related to these mooks, I just married one of them, ha-ha, and knowing you better as a niece. Well, this speech is starting to resemble a monologue, so, ah, I'm going to finish it off by saying that I'm sure that I like you both very much now, but I'm also sure that I'll soon be loving you more than I like you."

The guests applauded and Lorelai took a seat. Rory looked at her mother seriously in the eye and softly said, "Like sands through the hourglass… these, are the—"

"Oh, hush."

"My mainstream mother."

"I know, I should be wearing a Good Charlotte t-shirt."

"Well, I'm proud of you for being a good sport about this, Mom. Really, that was very Brittany Murphy-Dakota Fanning of you."

Lorelai bowed her head regally, "That is just the best compliment one could ever say to me, because we all know Britanny Murphy is a total babe."

"What about, 'I love you, Mommy.'?"

"Oh, yes, that, too."


	11. ten

NOBODY SAID

CHAPTER TEN

          Jess cleared his throat and politely nodded at each person as they filed out of the ballroom.  He was relieved that the strenuous ordeal was almost over and done with, but happy as well, since it was what Sasha wanted.  Holding her hand in his, he gently squeezed it for assurance.  Sasha squeezed back and began to massage his palm with her thumb.

          It was going to be over soon.

          His eyes scanned the giant room and suddenly, he cursed himself as his focus fell upon Rory Gilmore.  She had been staring at him far longer than he, he realized when Rory faintly smiled and blushed.  He gave her a slight nod from his side of the room, and she smiled softly in hers.  He noticed her eyebrows furrow for a moment, but then Rory realized that he was still looking at her.  And her face softened.

          Jess sighed.  This wasn't going to be easy.

          Sasha mistook the sigh as something else and tilted her head up to place a soft kiss on his neck.  "Hang in there."

          He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her tighter.  He needed her so much right now.

          "You guys are just adorable.  I could eat you both."

          They both jumped at the sound of Lorelai's voice.  Jess looked at her almost bulging stomach with a raised eyebrow.  "I don't doubt that."

          Lorelai merely rolled her eyes and waved Jess off.  "I'll see you later, you jerk."

          He smirked, "I love you, too, Auntie."

          "Shut up," she said in mock cynicism. 

          They didn't seem to notice Sasha's incredulous expression.

          Luke followed close behind and he cleared his throat, "Ah, thanks, Jess.  Great food.  Tell that Malaysian ex-convict of yours that he's got five stars out of me."

          Sasha chuckled, "We can introduce you, if you want."

          "Hah, no thanks.  I still a little iffy about his past references."

          "Thanks for coming, Luke," Jess said.

          "No problem.  See you at the wedding.  I'll get you guys a toaster."  Luke's mouth turned up as he added, "You guys don't have swans in your wedding, do you?"

          Sasha gave him a puzzled look, "Uh, no, sadly, but if you really want—"

          "No!"  Jess interrupted quickly, "No swans."

          Luke laughed gruffly and clapped Jess on the shoulder, "Goodnight."

          "I hate you, Luke."

          "Jess, don't be so mean to your uncle!  He's family!"  Sasha said in a surprised tone.  Obviously, she wasn't familiar with the men's form of affectionate banter.

          "Don't worry, Sasha, that's Danes-Mariano code for 'I love you yet am too macho to admit it.'"  Rory suddenly interjected from behind Luke.

          "Rory."  Jess said, a bit taken aback at the open friendliness which she regarded his fiancé.

          "Congratulations to you both, you guys.  I'll see you in two months."

          "You aren't staying here, Miss Gilmore?"

          "It's Rory, and no, sadly.  I have to get back to work, or I'd be toastier than… erm… toast."

          Jess held back a chortle at Rory's colourful imagery with his fist.  He tried to pass it off as a cough, but judging from Rory's glare, he was unsuccessful at the attempt.

          "See you, Rory."

          "'Bye, Jess."

          She smiled warmly at him, and shook his hand.  For etiquette's sake, of course.  Jess's eyes were filled with unspoken gratitude as he looked at her.  Rory, unable to take the intensity of his gaze, looked away and grabbed Sasha's hand instead.  "Thank you, Sasha."

          The girl smiled widely at Rory and clasped both of her hands.  This made Rory a bit uncomfortable and she slipped her fingers off Sasha's friendly hold.  "I'll see you at the wedding, Rory."

          "I'll be there.  Expect a big gift.  The size of a fridge.  It's not going to be exactly a fridge, but about that size.  That is, if I can afford it."

          "Rory…" Jess said warningly as she was on the edge of the rambling slope.

          "Oh, ha-ha, thanks for stopping me, Jess.  I'll see you guys."

          "Goodbye!"

***

          When Rory got back to her apartment, she was so emotionally drained that she collapsed onto her bed without even taking her shoes off.  She lay on the soft mattress, belly down, and screamed into the covers.

          She needed Jess so much right now.

***

          The next few weeks at work passed by quickly without any hitch.  Rory was glad of the routine because it gave her less time to think about a certain dark haired boy, now a dark haired man.

          "Miss Gilmore, I'm going out for lunch," Rory's assistant said as she popped in the office without so much as a greeting.  Rory looked up from her work and nodded wordlessly.

          A few minutes later, her stomach seemed to say the same thing.  She bit her lip as her stomach moaned like a bagpipe in a Scottish Festival.  Grabbing her coat, she stepped out of the office and walked towards a café not so far away.

          She took a seat and ordered and appetizer, two main courses and a cheesecake.  The waiter nervously spoke, "Uh, miss, would you like me to serve it to you now, or would you like to wait for the rest of your party?"

          Hmm.  She did seem to order a bit much…

          Her stomach grumbled again, making the waiter raise an eyebrow.  "I'd like the food served now, please," Rory said shamefully.

          "Of course."

          "I can't do this anymore.  I'm getting married in a week."

          Rory's head shot up at the sound of the familiar voice.  It was just a few tables away.  Was that…?

          "Sasha, please, I can't live without you."

          Rolling her eyes at the cheesy comment, Rory grabbed a breadstick and gnawed on it.

          Hang on and back it up a minute.  Did that man just say "Sasha"?  Than man who was _not Jess?_

          "No.  I told you, I can't do this.  He loves me, I know it."

          "No, he doesn't!"

          Sasha's wavering voice wafted through the tables and into Rory's ear, "How do you know that?"

          Rory heard a fist pound on the table, "Because _I_ do."

          "Your food, ma'am," the server said cordially.  However, Rory's attentions were not at the food.  Her eyes widened at the sudden realization that Sasha was having an affair.  With a man who's seen a few too many romance movies and novels.  She tried to let out a gasp, but instead inhaled the breadstick, which became stuck in her throat.

          Trying not to cause a scene, Rory ran into the washrooms where the server followed her, "Ma'am, don't move, I can do the Heimlich Maneuver!  Let me help you!"

          Inside the washroom hall, the server put his arms around her and tried to get the breadstick dislodged in her throat.

          Rory bent over and hacked it all out once the damned thing was out of her system.  Literally.

          "Are you okay, Miss?"

          She nodded and tried to smile at the waiter.  The man nodded and left her alone.  Rory stepped into the women's room and leaned on the sink.

          "What am I going to do now?"


	12. eleven

NOBODY SAID

CHAPTER ELEVEN

          "Hookay," Rory said to herself as she sped down the street in her car, nearly running over one grandma, six children and a dog.  "Just calm down, and everything's going to be fine.  Right.  I'll just go and tell Jess, he'll be crushed, and will proceed to eat my head with a spatula."

          She cleared her throat at the image.  "No big deal."

          The wind roared against her ear as she drove, making her nearly deaf.  With a small glance at the radio, she turned it up.

          "I'm being a good person here.  I'm the good girl.  I'm so good, I'm Jennifer Aniston.  Right.  And Jess is… Jess is… oh my God, I can't tell Jess.  I can't tell him.  This'll crush him, and he'll be mad.  And then he's going to frown that sexy frown of his where his forehead goes… AUGH!"

          She grabbed the phone which lay on the passenger seat.  Speed-dial.

          "Hello?"

          "MOM!"

          She heard Luke yawn, "Hang on."

          After some shuffling and some moaning.  "Lorelai, it's Rory.  Yeah.  No, she just screamed at my ear.  She said, 'Mom.'  Uh-huh.  She sounds panicked."

          With a loud frustrated groan, "MOOOOOOOM!"

          "What, Rory?  Are you okay?"

          "NO!"

          "What's wrong?"  She could tell that her mother had sat straight up now, all attention to her.

          "I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.  ABOUT JESS."

          "Honey, turn off the caps lock, will you?  Can you seriously and calmly explain to me what's going on?  Hey, Luke, do you think you could call Jess?  Rory needs him pretty bad."

          "Mom, I do not 'need' Jess at all," her daughter scoffed.

          Rory could actually hear her mother roll her eyes.  "Rory, you can be un-denial-ly with me.  I know you like him still."

          "I do not!"

          "Do you really want to get into this now?"

          "Well…"

          "Because, Rory, I'm telling you now, I've got plenty of ammunition."

          "Mom, Sasha's having—"

          There was a beep at the end of the receiver, "Hang on, Mom, I have another call.  I'll be right back."

          "Okily-dokily."

          Rory rolled her eyes.  There was a pause as the call was transferred to one person to the other.  Rory closed her eyes hoping it wasn't her boss ready to fire her for disappearing.

          "H-hello?" Jess asked into the receiver.

          Rory's heart stopped.  She moved her mouth but nothing came out.  She groped the steering wheel for something to say.

          "Rory?  Are you alright?  Luke told me to call you.  He says it's important."

          Tight-lipped and her heart racing, Rory snapped her cellphone closed.

          "Oh, God."

          She smacked her head against the steering wheel and drove on.  She had to do this in person.

***

          "Hello?  Rory?  Hello?" Jess yelled into the receiver.  With a confused look, he set it back down.  He scratched his head.  Did Rory just hang up on him?

          With a determined frown, he picked up the phone and redialed.  Something was wrong.  He knew it.

          The other line rang and rang, yet Rory wasn't answering.  He called three more times, yet was also ignored all three tries.

          Jess finally put it down with a sigh.  Rory would tell him what was wrong when the time was right.

          Question was, when will it be the right time?

          He walked towards his desk and picked up his latest copy of _Time Magazine_.  He flipped through the pages, looking for any sign of Rory's new work.  He was just about to read an article on anthrax and its cure when he heard someone knock on the door.

          Rory?

          Jess walked over and opened the door.  And frowned.

          "Brad, what?"

          Bradley cleared his throat and wordlessly shoved an open copy of_ Cosmopolitan_ into his hands.  He tried to suppress a laugh as Jess sighed and rolled his eyes.

          "Top Ten Macho Men—_Cosmo counts down the ten sexiest men in America!"  And right at the opposite page was a picture of Jess Mariano, staring smokily into the camera.  The caption: "Mysterious, brooding, the epitome of Sex, Jess Mariano gives us one of his drives-us-wild stares."_

          "I was glaring at them."

          "Glad to have that cleared up, Sir," Bradley shakily said, at the brink of hysteria.  "They've really been improving in the Photoshop area.  It actually looks like a _PlayGirl centerfold."_

          "Ugh, for the love of all things sane…"

          "'Epitome of Sex,'" Bradley gave him a thumbs-up sign and left the magazine with his boss.  As he went further down the hall, Jess heard him snort.

          With a glare at his employee's back, he closed the door.  He stared at the picture with annoyance as he loosened his tie and undid the top two buttons on his shirt.  He flipped to other pages as he rolled up his sleeves.  Hey, since he already had the magazine, might as well read it, right?

***

          Jess awoke to a rapid succession of knocking at his door.  Furrowing his eyebrows, he sat up and glanced at his watch.  He had fallen asleep for an hour.

          The knocking went on as he gathered his senses.  "Hang on!"

          As the person on the other side of the door heard his voice, the knocking increased in intensity and volume.  Soon, it gave way to pounding.

          "Dammit, Brad," Jess mumbled as he got off the bed.

          Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Jess quickly yanked the door open, "What the hell do you want?"  

          Rory, always a bit late in reacting, didn't notice the door open until it was too late.  She swung her arm back and hit Jess right on the forehead.

          "OW!  Jesus Christ!"

          As he clutched his injury, Jess spoke, his voice thick with sleep, "Rory?  Is that you?"

          There was no answer.  He looked up and saw that it was, indeed, the deranged Rory Gilmore, but this time, looking at him funny.  She stared the open space where his shirt came unbuttoned.  She looked like she was ready to eat him alive.

          "You okay?"  He snapped his fingers in front of her face.

          Rory put her hands to either sides of her face with mortification.  In a small voice, she replied, "Yes."

          Jess rubbed his face and looked at her, still a bit sleepy, even after the initial attack he was faced with.  "I tried calling you, but you weren't answering.  I got worried."

          "Jess, where's Sasha?" Rory asked quickly, stepping inside his room without waiting for any invitation.

          "She went to see the wedding planner.  The person, not the movie."

          "Terrible waste of film."

          "Seriously.  J-Lo.  Typical romantic comedy.  That's just a double-whammy."

          "I wholeheartedly concur, my friend."

          Rory looked around, impressed at the place.  Her gaze fell upon the open issue of _Cosmopolitan_ on his bed.  She picked it up, "'Six Ways For You Man To Enjoy Himself'.  Why, Jess, I never knew."

          A slight blush from Jess was all she received, as he grabbed the magazine.

          "You know, ah, they found a cure for anthrax."

          "Oh, yes, lovely.  Vern wrote an article about that.  He has an office right next to mine, you know."

          "Last book you read."

          "_Grapes Of Wrath_."

          "I bet Oprah's just dying of excitement, now that she has a new member on her little book club."

          "Oh, Lord, how many members are there left?"

          "Last time I checked, there were three."

          Jess smiled lazily at Rory.  He had missed talking to someone like this.  He put his hand to his hip as Rory faintly smiled back.  She missed it, too.

          Suddenly she jumped, in spite of herself, and shook her head vehemently.  This made Jess wonder what in the world was going on in that crazy head of Rory Gilmore.

          "Rory, are you okay?"

          She started pacing.  "Jess, I have to tell you something important."

          He sat on the edge of his bed and braced his arms on his knees.  He watched her nervously fidget and walk back and forth in front of him.

          "What's it about?"

          "It's about…" she looked up and into his eyes.  She stopped pacing.  Jess was thankful, because the flow of her skirt was making him dizzy.  It was red with black lines all over it.  Who would wear something like that?  He felt like he was in a mental testing center and was being hypnotized.  With a skirt.

          Right.

          Jess raised his eyebrows in expectation, "About?"

          Rory seemed to falter at his expression.  He was looking at her expectantly.  "It's about Sasha," she said softly.

          This made him stand, "What's wrong?  Is she okay?"

          Rory was silent.  This wasn't good.  Oh, God.

          He closed in on Rory and grabbed her shoulders, "Rory, what's wrong with Sasha?"

          Instead of answering, Rory burst into tears.  Jess froze.  "Is she hurt?  Rory!  For God's sake, tell me!"

          "She's having an affair, Jess!"

          She screamed it so loud, and so quickly, Jess had to take a step back.  "No."

          "Jess…"

          "No, she's not!  She loves me, Rory.  Why the hell can't you see that?!"

          Rory looked at him with a slight hint of confusion, "What?"

          He yanked on his hair in frustration.  "The first time, I let it slide.  You didn't know.  We even got into a fight about it, but that was alright.  I knew you had to adjust to the fact that, for once, you weren't the one being pined for.  I knew that you needed time to get used to being in the back seat."

          His words knocked the wind out of her.  With trembling lips, she asked, "What?  Let what slide?"

          "You attempts of stopping this wedding, Rory.  I know what you're doing.  I'm not stupid!"

          She laughed bitterly.  "I am not trying to stop this wedding!"

          "Oh, please!"  It was his turn to laugh.  The venom in it made Rory shiver, "I thought that wearing that… dress was understandable—"

          "Oh, we're back to this?  I'm sorry if I upstaged your little Miss, Jess, but—"

          He wouldn't let her finish.  He put a hand up and ran right over her words, "You weren't ready.  I suppose that's my fault for not telling you sooner, or at all, that I was getting married, so I apologise.  But this, Rory?  Jesus, don't you have any dignity left in you?  You, in all your flaming… _striped glory, had to drive all the way here, just to throw my fiancé's name to the floor and kick it to the ground, just to satisfy that little devil on your shoulder?  Or does he hang out on both your shoulders?"_

          Jess stared at her fiercely, "Listen to me, Gilmore: Sasha Gregory loves me, and she would never do anything to hurt me.  She doesn't go around town having," he put his fingers up to make air quotations, "'coffee' with people and then kissing them in a 'heat of the moment' thing."

          Rory silent in this whole thing glared at Jess and wiped her tear with the back of her hand.  But Jess's last words were the final blow.  The last uppercut and jab before the opponent fell to the floor, toothless and bleeding.

          "That's not her style.  It's yours."

          He saw tears well up in Rory's eyes, her face flaming red.  Slowly, she stepped closer to him, until her face was inches from his.  "You say that she loves you, but do you love her?"

          Jess's eyes hardened.  

          "Get out."

          "One last thing, Jess," Rory said quietly.  She smiled at him painfully, and kissed the side of his lips.  Her tongue flicked the inside of his mouth for a moment.  Unlike last time, Jess stood stoic.

          "I feel so sorry for you," she whispered.  Then suddenly, he felt her palm come into contact with his cheek.  It came slow, and the crisp sound of her slap resonated all around the quiet hotel room.

          With both of their cheeks burning from pain, one physically, one emotionally hurt, Rory walked away.


	13. twelve

NOBODY SAID

CHAPTER TWELVE

          The door slammed shut with a vengeance, making Jess flinch.  With tired breaths, he sighed and fell onto the edge of the bed once again.  He slowly slipped from his position to the floor where he sat in silence, feeling destroyed.

          He ran a hand through his hair, shaking the curls free and rested his arms on his knees.  What a mess.

***

          Rory slowly walked away from the room, suddenly feeling cold.  She wrapped her arms around herself and frowned.  The trudge to the elevator was tedious, as she had no more energy left in her.  Everything she had was drained from the fight, the slap.  The unreturned kiss.  She touched her lips lightly and realized, there and then, that Jess had finally let her go.

          Sudden realizations often come with either joy or sadness.  And Rory didn't feel like jumping for joy at this particular moment.  Her forehead scrunched up as she tried hard to hold back her tears.  She didn't even notice that she was already in her car until she slammed the door shut beside her.

          With a groan, she pulled the lever by her seat and reclined her backrest a full 180-degrees.  She lay like that, looking at the ceiling of her little Echo Hatchback.  The cool contours of the car calmed her, and when most of her anger dissipated, she slowly pulled herself back up right without a word to herself.

***

          What Rory didn't understand about Jess and Sasha's relationship was its complexity.  Love isn't enough to keep something like that going.  It took gratitude.  It took complacence.  It took a mutual understanding.

          In a word, Sasha saved Jess's life.

          The Jess that Rory saw today was not the same person a few years ago.  Jess From A Few Years Ago was drowning in a pool of despair.  He was hopeless and lonely.  Then a chance encounter changed it all.  Sasha Gregory came in the form of an angel.  Literally.

A bitter smile graced Jess's lips as he remembered their first meeting.

          _Her father was hosting a gala event, to celebrate his fiftieth year as one of the top investors in the business world.  Her mother convinced him to throw a costume party, because Lord only knew how little of those kinds of celebrations were left in the world.  Without much reluctance, the old man agreed to his wife's wishes._

_          Homeless, tired, and somewhat orphaned (Liz had long since emancipated him); Jess stumbled into the gardens of what seemed like a palace.  He sat beside the bushes, leaning back against a vine-covered wall.  He took in the soft glow emanating from the large windows, his cold hands embracing his legs._

_          He thought of the way people were back then, where the rich ignored politics and the poor, giving way to only celebrations and galas such as this._

_          He heard a twig snap and suddenly he knew he wasn't alone.  A giggle.  He jumped into the thick bushes, careful not to be seen.  He was enjoying himself too much to be caught._

_          Through the leaves, he saw a foot step down, and then a long white cloth flapped down to cover it.  Jess hadn't realized that his hand was still showing until he felt a sharp pang pierce through it.  He gasped, but managed to contain his scream.  This girl was stepping on his hand.  This girl was wearing stiletto shoes._

_          The girl turned in her heel, absolutely crushing any chance of Jess getting feeling to his hand back.  That was when he let it out._

_          "AUGH!  LADY, GET OFF MY HAND!"_

_          Jess threw himself away from the bushes, clutching his injured palm.  The girl screamed in terror at the silhouette of a man standing before her._

_          His eyes wide, he stepped closer, "No, lady, stop screaming, please, they'll see me!"_

_          His attempts to cover her mouth with his hand were viciously slapped away.  Still she screamed bloody murder.  With a glower at her, Jess pulled her towards him and kissed her.  Just to shut her up._

          Jess rubbed his temples with his lithe fingers, calming himself down.

          Sasha could not have been having an affair.  Sasha was too sweet.  She was too… Jess berated himself for being so cruel, but he knew that Sasha was totally in love with him.  He hadn't admitted it to Rory, although everything was so obvious, but he thought that if he spent more time with Sasha, he'd fall in love with her as well.  He had been patient, and he knew that the feelings were slowly starting to come.  But still nothing was complete.  He cared for her, but he was still waiting for that slap in the face and the realization that everything fit.

          He hated being called a romantic, but too many books did that to you.  That was why he stopped reading.  Those books taught him to hope.  They taught him how to think of bigger things, dream of better loves.  He thought that he had finally gotten it when Rory accepted him, but things never were like fiction.  He hated the false hope that Hemingway and Salinger had instilled upon him. No matter how little that hope was, it still remained.

          The hope that someone would love him as he was - no more, no less.

          But he lived in a stupid world of hypocrisy and shattered dreams.  He stopped believing a long time ago.

          Sasha was the one who taught him that.

          There was no such thing as destiny.  You had to work for what you had and what you want.  She helped him go through college, get a degree, and helped him find an opportunity to enter into her father's world.

          So in a word, Sasha Gregory saved him from a life of hoping and dreaming and being betrayed and disappointed.

***

          Rory sat in her couch upside-down, as she studied her mother as she danced around the room in a pretty dark green dress.

          "That one makes you look kind of fat."

          Lorelai sighed at her daughter's unwanted input.  "Look, Honey, Sweetie, BabyCakes, I_ am fat.  I really can't help that right now, seeing as I have another human being growing inside of me.  Why don't you go try on your dress and leave me and my fat alone?"_

          Rory frowned and sat upright hurt from her mother's tone.  But hormones did that to you when you're pregnant, so she let it slide.

          "I'm not going."

          "Why not?"

          "Mom, did I not tell you about the fight?  And the thing?  And the Sasha thing?  And the… and the… thing-thing?"

          Lorelai turned to her daughter with a confused look, "What?"

          "Nothing.  I'm not going."

          "Oh, which fight?"

          "The one with the kiss."

          "Again, I repeat, which fight?"

          "The one about Sasha."

          "Rory, do I have to remind you of my hormonal condition?  I can go about any given time, now."

          Rory sighed and leaned back into her seat, so tired of it all.  She was tired of the Jess-Issue, of the Sasha-Issue, and even the Lorelai-Is-Pregnant-And-Hormonal Thing.  She just wanted to lay in her bed and slip away.  But her mother was here, getting ready for the wedding.  She and Luke were spending the weekend at her place, just to get things ready and close to the venue of choice for the wedding.

          This Wedding Chaos was getting to her, and she really didn't want to talk about it, or even look at anything bridal.

          The phone rang beside her.  "That must be Luke."

          Rory picked the receiver up, expecting Luke's fatherly cynicism to follow through.

          "Hello?"

          "Rory."

          She froze, her back ramrod straight as tiny shivers went tingling down it.

          "Jess."

          There was a pause in the other line, then, "Rory, I don't want you to think ill of me, but I thought it would be better if you were to not come to the wedding."

          Her eyebrows shot up.  She tried to find the words to speak, but the sheer rudeness that she had just been witness to was a total shock to her.  She didn't think Jess was capable of such impoliteness.  Maybe before, when they were seventeen.  The suit and the whole package must have thrown her off track, then.  "So, let me get this straight: you're _uninviting me to a wedding that I'm already planning to skip?"_

          "Well, I didn't know you were going to 'skip' it already.  I just thought things would be easier that way."  There was a slight trace of venom in Jess's voice.  Rory rolled her eyes.  _He had the gall to be offended, right after he just slapped her with his indecorous stick._

          Rory nodded, a surge of energy flowing through her.

          "I guess."  And without any further regard for Jess or anything he had to say, she slammed the phone down.  She could feel the fire come out of her nostrils.  What sort of jerk would call and un-invite a guest?  What did he expect her to do?  Jump over the crowd, screaming, "NO!  JESS! I LOVE YOU!"?  Was his ego _that big?!_

          "Mom, let's go, we're getting me a dress."


	14. thirteen

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

          Lorelai smiled as the bathroom door opened, revealing Luke in a dark grey suit.  He looked quite handsome, except for the gigantic frown on his face.

          "I thought you'd be used to this coat-and-tie thing, what with all the functions my mother has made me drag you into.  And I'm sorry about all those, by the way."

          Her husband raised an eyebrow at her, "Yeah, you better be.  I felt like a big-ass loser next to your dad."

          "Now, that's not an easy feeling to get, my friend.  You forget, my dad has that perpetual bowtie and that 'When I was a wee lad…' air about him."

          "You calling your dad a loser?" Luke asked suddenly while uncomfortably tugging at his waistband.

          Lorelai gave him a small smirk, "Are you okay?"

          Luke sighed and looked at Lorelai grumpily, "Damn Jess and his Malaysian ex-convict with the cooking prowess of a god!  He makes these little things that you _know_ are bad for you and have, like, a thousand calories per bite, but you just _have_ to eat it because it's so damn good!  I gained more than ten pounds in that weekend thing, dammit!"

          "Oh, you big bucket of sunshine, I just love that about you.  Plus the fact that you've seemed to have turned into a Special K commercial."

          Luke rolled his eyes as Lorelai kissed him on the cheek.  Then he realized that there was something missing.  Actually, someone.

          "Where's Rory?"

***

          "SCREW IT, I'M NOT GOING," was what they heard as Rory's bedroom door open.  She clutched a silk dress in her hand yet was still wearing a pastel green robe with a starfish on it.  "I didn't even _want _to go to this damned thing.  What was I thinking, huh, Mom?  What?  Did I have one of those strokes again?  Because, really, I felt no sharp pangs in my left arm.  _You're supposed to get pangs!"_

          With that, she slammed the door, leaving Luke and Lorelai with confused looks.

          Finally, after a long silence, Lorelai bit her lip and said through the door, rather loudly, "Um, okay, Rory, I guess Luke and I'll just go ahead then!  We'll give you some time to cool off.  We won't bother you until then.  See you in a year, honey!"

          "BYE!  SAY HI TO THAT UGLY MAN FOR ME."

          With a glance at Luke, "Right."

          He merely took a deep breath, "And we're off."

***

          Weddings were always a weird event for Luke Danes.  Well, it probably didn't help that 99% of his family were supposed to be institutionalized, either.  He didn't understand all the fuss, all the expense, and dammit, why were women always dabbing their eyes?

          The church was beautiful, though.  All those nice flowers around the aisle and those thin cloth-y things wrapped around the pillar things… he suddenly remembered his own wedding to Lorelai and let out an amused laugh.

          After the guests quieted down, Luke took the time to peek at the other side of the aisle, where Sasha's relatives and his future in-laws sat.  Sort of.  It would probably be a really distant relationship, but the fact still remained that Jess was going to marry into this family.

          Most of them were the rich snobby class, holding their little satin fans and silk handkerchiefs.  Luke let out a breath.  Insanity was sure to ensue.  He suddenly had this image of Jess in a reunion with them.  He shuddered.

          Poor kid.

          But Sasha was important to Jess, and that's probably all that mattered to him right now.  In spite of himself, he grinned.  Ah, young love.

          And then Jess came into view.  Wearing a tuxedo, once again, but this one was different from those in which Luke had seen him.  This was a special one, obviously.  It was pretty, in a scary Runaway Calvin Klein Freak kind of way.

          He stood on his place, and to Luke's surprise, Jess looked… happy.  Well, in Jess terms, he looked happy.  The slightest hint of a smirk was playing across his lips and his eyes were practically dancing.

          "Hey, Lorelai, did I look that stupid on our wedding?"

          "Dude, you were way worse.  Taylor said that you looked like you were about to pop a vein."

          Luke rubbed his chin, "Really?"

          "Yeah.  Well, I can totally understand, seeing as I'm a freaking bombshell…"

          "Humility is quite your main virtue, Lorelai.  Do you know that?"

          "Of course."

          He was about to throw another retort, but the wedding music began.  All the guests turned, now ignoring the handsome groom, and waited for the beautiful, blushing bride to emerge.

          The guests waited.

          And waited.

          And waited.

          The Wedding March played about four times, but each time, the aisle was empty.

          Luke whipped his head around to Jess.  The boy was nodding cynically, and softly chuckling.  He ran a hand through his face and pinched the bridge of his nose.  Jess looked up at the crowd, each face anticipating what he would do.

          He smiled bitterly at all of them, and said in a loud voice which echoed around the spacious church, "Well, my bride seems to be MIA, and my day has been ruined, along with yours.  I offer my most gracious apologies to everyone, but it seems that Sasha has inadvertently made the ceremony shorter.  If you would like to get a bite to eat before you go, my hotel ballroom has a reception waiting.  Thank you again."

          Luke shook his head, feeling sad for his nephew, who had long ago given his guests a courteous bow and left through the back.

          Stood up in the Wedding of the Century.  God damn.

***

          The silence in Rory's apartment was making her insane.  All she could hear was her clock ticking and her brain going, "You're going mad."

          Suddenly, she shot up out of her bed.  She _was going mad.  Jess was about to marry a girl that was having an affair.  He knew about it already, but he was still going through with it._

          And she was letting him!?

          She knew she was beyond logic or reason, and she didn't understand what she just thought right then, but an impulse went through her.  Grabbing the dress, and her shoes, she ran into her bathroom.

          Her primping time, which usually took forever, was reduced to five minutes.

***

          "Mom, I'm going to the wedding.  Where is that church?" Rory's voice was frantic as she spoke into her cell phone and, at the same time, drove like a crazy person.  Just like when she was speeding to tell Jess about Sasha, but this time, she may be going even faster.

          "There is no wedding, Rory."

          Her liver lodged into her throat, "What?!"

          "Sasha stood him up.  Poor guy.  We're at the hotel, eating.  Don't want any of this food to go to waste, you know.  Where are you?"

          "I'm on my way there."  She slapped her phone closed and threw it at the passenger seat.

          The wind was making her hair flare about her face and she could feel little bits of gravel hitting her cheeks, but she didn't really care.  Rory didn't know what she was going to do once she got there, either, but she'd just have to think about that later.

          Suddenly, as if fate was trying to let her hear them laugh in her face, she heard a bang and her little car started to slow down.  She tried frantically stepping on the gas pedal, but nothing happened.  This carried on until Rory was in a complete stop at the side of the road.

          "AUGH! WHY?!"


	15. fourteen

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

          Grateful for an exit at the back of the church, Jess calmly walked the lonely and quiet path alone.  The stained glass of the hallway he walked in was filled with the condoling stares of Catholic saints, half of them he didn't even recognize.  He loosened his collar with a yank, resulting in him slamming his elbow accidentally against the hard white wall.

          The word he let out bounced all over the place, making him flinch.  Saying filthy words in a church was somehow unnerving to him.  It would be to anyone, though, he guessed.

          He stopped as he saw a statue of an angel.  It was off-white, thanks to age, and she had her hands clasped together, in prayer.  It looked perfect, but Jess knew that the inside was as hollow as what he felt right now.  Without thinking, still glaring, he pulled his fist back.  Just as he was about to take a swing at the gentle figure, he felt a strong hand clamp on his arm.

          "Don't take it out on God, son," a soft, fatherly voice told him.

          Jess relaxed his stance and turned to the priest.  "I thought…"  

He thought what?  He didn't know anything anymore.

His mouth hung slightly agape at the unfinished sentence.  The priest looked at him expectantly.  But with a firm notch of his chin, Jess just turned and walked out the heavy wooden door.

Once out the church and into the parking lot, the young groom got into his car and slammed the door shut.  Driving always managed to calm Jess, if he had anything disturbing on his mind, and this time was no different.

***

Rory had long forgotten about her stupid car.  That was, after she had kicked it hard by the tire, hurting her toes.  She had limped into a nearby coffee stand and was just now getting out with a cup of hot coffee.  Limping back to her stupid car, her white silk dress caught on something and she heard it rip.

With an unsurprised roll of her eyes, she sat on the curb sadly.

What was Jess doing now?  Where was he?

Rory had called her mother asking about Jess, but all she got were empty answers, as Lorelai didn't know, either.

"He just turned and left.  The last time I saw him was in the church."

She was so angry at herself for giving up so easily.  Rory had an idea as to this beforehand, but the quietness of her situation forced her to face this fully.  She had been too afraid of losing Jess, and that was why she had hesitated on going to the wedding.

She had the dress, the shoes, everything was planned out, and what did she do?  She pulled out at the last minute.

She always had.

Anything involving a risk was too much for her.  Especially when it concerned her heart.  She didn't mean to be so selfish, but she couldn't help it.  Fear overcame Salvation.

With a sob, she clutched the half-empty coffee cup and hurled it into the even emptier street.  The cup left her hand in a flash, a trail of hot coffee dripping in mid-air.

Just then, a black car sped by.  Rory's eyes widened in surprise as her paper cup came into contact with the car's side window, splashing it with the brown liquid.

Burning rubber and a high screech came from the vehicle as it skidded to a sharp stop.  The door opened quickly and what she heard next was almost music to her ears.

It was a long trail of curse words pertaining to a coffee cup and the stupidity of the world, all coming out of the mouth of the person she wanted to see the most.

"Jess!"

She jumped up to her feet and Jess whipped his head to face her.  But then Rory felt a sharp pang go through her right leg.

"OW!"

And she quickly fell back down on the curb.  That kick to her car really did her in.  She glanced at her toes and realized that three of them were swollen and bruised.

Grrreat.  She finally found Jess and here she was, practically crippled.

"What's wrong with you?" she heard Jess ask coldly.  She hadn't realized that he had walked over and was now towering over her, his hands in his pockets.  When he saw the reason for her distress, Jess merely rolled his eyes.

"Get up, I'll take you to the hospital."

"I can't, my legs don't work anymore!"

"Rory," his voice was showing little patience, "you just broke a few toes."

"EW!  I know!  And I've lost all ability to walk because of it!"

"What do you want me to do?  Be your knight in shining armor and carry you to the car?"

Rory knew that one more retort would make Jess angrier and he'd leave her alone in the streets of New York, broken toes and all.  So she reluctantly pulled herself up and limped towards Jess's car.

"Rory, take your shoes off and this would be faster, if not easier."

"They're Jimmy Choo's!"

"Screw Jimmy, alright?!  Get in the damn car!"

***

The ride to the hospital was quiet for the first part.  Until Rory opened her mouth to speak.  An action she readily regretted the moment she carried it out.

"I heard about Sasha."

This resulted in Jess growling and swerving the steering will to pull over with a jerk.  Obviously, to Rory, this was the wrong question to ask a freshly-jettisoned groom.

"Will you just gloat and get it over with?!  What do you want from me, Rory?!  Do you want me to confirm your being right?  Well, get ready, because here it is: You, Rory Gilmore, were right, just like you were right about everything else.  Sasha doesn't love me, even humiliated me.  You are the great Goddess of Right.  You deserve all accolades that may come your way, Rory Gilmore."

Throughout this, Rory was silent.  Her reply was a question, softly delivered, "Was I right about you and Sasha?"

"Gilmore, were you not listening?  I just told you that you were!"

"I meant about _you_ loving _her._"

This comment didn't come as a surprise to Jess, as he himself constantly thought about it as well.

He grabbed the keys to start the ignition, "I'm taking you to the hospital and leaving you there.  I'll call Lorelai so she can pick you up."

"Don't change the subject, Jess."

Jess suddenly let out a frustrated scream and started hitting the steering wheel, the windows, the dashboard, anything he could reach, with his fist, vehemently cursing.  Rory pulled back, afraid of getting hit.

He stopped as suddenly as he had started.  He visibly deflated against the wheel, tired of it all.  He hated this feeling, he hated everything.  He hated this day.  

Then he felt a soft hand go through his thick hair.  Jess rolled his head to the side and looked at Rory through lowered lids.

"I'm sorry."

Jess closed his eyes as Rory ran her fingers through his hair a bit more, her palm gently resting on his temple.  He wanted to do something, anything to help get rid of the polluted feeling inside him.

"I think I really did love her," he whispered so quietly, he didn't think he even really said it aloud.

It happened all of a sudden, neither he nor Rory saw it coming.  It started with a pain at the back of his eyes, and finally, he sobbed as a lone tear fell from his eye.


	16. fifteen

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

            The hospital smelled of vaccine and paper, sounded of beeps and soft footsteps.  In a corner of the waiting room, two individuals sat silently, thinking of the very last time that they were in a hospital together, with one of them hurt by a vehicle.

            "I'm sorry for breaking out like that," Jess said softly, playing with the cloth of his pant leg.

            Rory sneaked a glance at him; his chin was buried in his chest like a reluctant five-year old who was admitting to have broken a vase.  She smiled and put a reassuring arm around Jess's shoulders, almost cradling him against her neck.

            "It's okay, Jess.  In fact, I think it's even healthier for you to do that once in a while.  Keeping things inside… that'll just kill you earlier."

            Within Rory's half-embrace, his face covered by her long hair, Jess smiled into her neck.

            A nurse walked by, accidentally nudging Rory's injured toes.  She flinched and sucked in a breath at the pain that went through her.  Jess felt this and quickly pulled away.

            "You know, you and cars, you don't mix."

            "I'm painfully aware.  I always have accidents when I'm near automobiles.  It's terrible."

            Jess jumped as he felt his cell phone vibrate against his hip.  He had forgotten he even had it with him.  Opening his inbox, a text message appeared:

            _Sasha:  I'm at the hotel._

            He looked at the screen until the lights went off it.  He sighed and leaned back into his chair.

            "Who was it?"

            "Rory, are you okay here on your own?  I have to go take care of something.  I'll call Lorelai to come get you after, okay?"

            Rory simply nodded and faced forward.  Just like last time.  Right after Jess had spoken to the police, he had left her in the hospital with her broken wrist.  "I'll be fine."

            With a small furrow of his eyebrows, Jess turned and ran to his car.  He hated to leave Rory all alone, but the chance to clear things up with Sasha was beating at his brains.  Because a part of him, he hated to admit, still wanted to see her.

***

            The hallway had a sense of doom as soon as Jess step his foot onto the carpet.  He ignored this with a slight shake of his head and proceeded to open the door.

            It swung open without as much as a creak, revealing the woman of his dreams in a wedding dress sitting on the floor.  Piles of white surrounded her, and the sunlight from the window played against her features, making Sasha look like an angel once again.  She was peering at Jess through the thin veil which hung over her head.

            "Hey," she greeted quietly.  Looking at Jess's features, she couldn't fathom what he was feeling right now.  "Are you mad?"

            Jess sighed, in spite of himself, and crossed the threshold, sitting on the bed behind her.  "Surprisingly and honestly, no.  I was, but I got it out of my system."  He looked sternly at his supposed bride, "What happened, Sasha?"

            Through the veil, Sasha's lips curve into a smile.  "I've always loved you, Jess.  I always thought you were so cool, driving around town in your vintage car."

            When she said that, Jess's figure jerked straight.  "What?"

            "Your hair was always up in that curly way, and I thought it was cute," she said, picking at the folds of her skirt with gloved hands.  Her words were starting to gain speed and volume now.

            "The time when Rory went off to Washington, I watched you.  I saw you wanted to forget her, so you went out with… Shane.  Nobody really approved of her; nobody cared, either, but I understood why she became the replacement."

            Sasha turned around and looked up at Jess's surprised face.  Slowly, he reached down and pushed the veil up and around her head, revealing Sasha's face clearly.

            His fingers trembled as he ran them over her cheek.  Suddenly, Sasha looked so familiar.  Her lips, her eyes, her hair.  Seven years can do a lot to a person.

            "Shane?"

            With a sweet smile and flushed face, "Hey, Jess."

            But seven years can only do so much.

***

            After the initial shock and awkwardness fell apart plus a call to room service for some hard alcohol, Jess was faced with an immediate feeling of guilt.  He slid down from the bed and beside her on the floor.

            "How many years had we known each other, and you kept this from me?"

            Sasha, or should we say, Shane, put a hand to her hip, "Jess, how many years have you kept the fact that you've been into Gilmore for years from me?"

            An ironic smirk, "Touché."  He leaned back against the side of the bed, "But you were such a…"

            "Dumb blonde?"

            "Different person."

            "If you'd taken the time to know me instead of just sucking my face off all the time, we could have been good friends.  I'm not as smart as Rory Gilmore, but please give me a little bit of credit.  College can do you a lot of good, Jess."

            He took the silence presented to him and used it to process all of this clearly in his head.  Where was a Clarica agent when you needed one?

            "So, how's it feel, Jess?"

            Jess glanced at her and grinned, "How does what feel?"

            "Revenge."

            He raised an amused eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of him, "Excuse me?"

            "You know, having your hopes raised so high that you can't even see the ground, and then being let go faster than you can say, 'Help!'?"

            Jess tucked a long strand of hair behind her ear, just realizing what he had done in the past.  He had an idea of his selfishness, but this seemed to have just put the final nail on the coffin.  

            "I didn't know I affected you that much.  I always thought you'd moved on as quickly as I did."

            "It still hurt, though."

            Jess looked at this woman's face intently with a silent respect.  What she did was horribly insane and stupid, but he couldn't help but admire that strength in her.

            "Rory's followed through quite nicely, as well."

            "She was a part of this?"

            Shane chuckled bitterly, "Hell, no.  She just got tangled up in the ride.  She came out pretty okay, actually, with a much clearer view of things, too, I notice."

            "And a few broken toes."

            "She broke her toes?"

            "I believe it was a case of anger and nowhere else to concentrate it on but her car."

            Shane laughed quietly, shaking her head, "Gilmore's always been weird like that.  Stars Hollow's been breeding lunatics like her since the time it was founded.  So, she still loves you, eh?"

            Jess was about to answer, when room service suddenly knocked from outside.  "Must be the booze, thank God."

            He poured two glasses of whiskey and handed one to Shane.  With a raise of his glass, he met hers with a small clink.

            "To lunacy and what I'm about to do.  Again.  Seems I've never learned."

            Shane smirked at him, "Here, here."

            Jess chuckled, "Who was that guy, anyway?"


	17. sixteen

+ Hey, ladies.  Thank you for all the support you gave me for the last chapter.  I actually expected rants and flames and mobs to form for that whole "Shane-Sasha" thing because it's a little unconventional, idea-plot-wise.  I just thought that I needed to do something completely insane and different, just for creativity's sake.  And from the reviews you've all given me, I think the risk was well received (for the most part).  Thank you for your support, again, it means a lot to me.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Shane sank back into the softness of her wedding gown with a bitter laugh, as she realized the humor in the situation.  She had always been exactly like this: spontaneous, unreasonable.  She sat next to Jess at that moment, drinking champagne, as many, countless times before, but this time was different.  Jess knew who she was, and oddly enough, didn't care.

          It was strange because long ago, Jess wouldn't even have glanced at her.

          _"Get lost, Shane," Jess whispered to her, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking away.  His eyes were, as usual, downcast._

_          "Why?  Is Gilmore on her way or something?"  She crossed her arms in front of her defensively.  "Jess, I—"_

_          "Just go, will you?" he suddenly snapped, making her flinch at the harshness in his tone.  This came as a surprise to Shane because Jess was never like this.  He could be moody, but he was usually quiet and reserved._

_          It had been a week since that stupid dance marathon, and they had bumped into each other in one of the miraculous days that Jess showed up for school.  Shane didn't understand why Jess really had to avoid her.  So they broke up.  People move on._

_          "What, you feel guilty for using me?"_

_          His eyes darkened, "I didn't use you."_

_          "Right, Jess.  Thanks for your vote of condescending confidence," she said dryly.  "I may be blonde, I may be a little dumb, but I'm not blind," she turned as Dean passed by with a frown, "I'm not deaf, either."_

          They now both sat up, not looking at each other, sipping lightly from their flutes of champagne.  Once in a while, Jess would break the silence with a question, and Shane would answer softly.

          "So the costume party where we first met, did you plan that?  Because if you did, I'd think you were God."

          She let out a giggle and turned the glass in her hand, looking at the bubbles as they fizzed upwards.  "I didn't mean for anything to go this far, actually.  I saw you and I missed you.  Simple as that.  But then I remembered what a jerk you'd been, so I figured that we could be close friends, and then just for revenge's sake, I'd go Hiroshima on your face.  When my dad talked to you about a wedding last year, behind my back, I may add, I never thought you'd agree to it.  Things just grew from there."

          "Cruel woman."

          "You're the sucker who couldn't figure things out.  This would have been a lot easier if you hadn't been off daydreaming about Gilmore.  I knew you proposed out of gratitude, Jess, not love."

          "So it became your life goal to set me straight from a life of fallacy?"

          Shane shrugged, "Someone had to do it.  You selfish bastard.  Always in denial.  Aren't you sick of it all these years?"

          As Shane said that, Jess choked on his drink.  Wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve, he nodded in concession.

          She took another sip while Jess refilled his glass.

          "Maybe I did it because I also had a small hope that you'd really love me—"

          Jess cut her off with a sigh, "I did, actually.  But it just came too late."  He closed his eyes and massaged his forehead.  Things always came too late when it counted.  It was a curse he was bound with.

          "Whatever, Jess," she suddenly said, rolling her eyes and swatting him with a glove.

          "What?  I did!"

          "Please!  Who was the one always sneaking off into the night to read _The Iliad_?  When you love someone, you don't pretend to be.  And those silent soliloquies, my God, Jess, you're worse than your uncle.  I could actually see the doubt and confusion run naked on your face."

          Jess took a portion of Shane's dress and played with the fabric absently, "I was planning to tell you…"  Then he quickly glared at her, "Well, who was the one having an affair behind my back?!"

          Again, Shane surprised Jess by laughing out loud at his accusation.  She actually threw her head back and laughed her head off.

          "I had to know you trusted me, Jess.  And from the look on Gilmore's face when she came down the lobby, you already had."

          "How'd you know she'd tell me?"

          She just looked at Jess as if he was stupid, "Jess, this is Rory Gilmore we're talking about.  She's the goody-goody kid who can't stand anything against the Ten Commandments.  She works like clockwork.  Drop a hankie, and she'll pick it up.  Let her overhear a conversation, she spills."

          "Sa—I mean, Shane," Jess said with a shake of his head, "kudos to you for your belief in my humanity and an insane, stupid plan that actually worked."

          Shane smiled and bowed in her seat, "Why, thank you."

***

          Meanwhile, Rory sat on the hospital with a scowl as the doctor examined her x-rays in front of her.  The man spoke, but she was lost in her thoughts of the different ways she wanted to tell Jess that he sucked.

          "You've just had a few fractures, but it's nothing a little time won't heal."

          "Jerk.  Always doing this," she mumbled to herself.

          Unfortunately, the doctor heard her.  He raised an eyebrow, but when Rory didn't seem to acknowledge it, he continued talking.  "We're just going to wrap you up in bandages, to prevent any infection, okay?"

          "Why can't he make up his mind, huh?" her glare now focused on the doctor, "_Huh?!_"

          "Miss Gilmore?"

          "Why do you boys have to drag us girls around by the hair and through the mud _all the time_?" she growled.

          The doctor scratched his head, "Maybe this guy is just confused," he offered.

          Rory's glare lessened, when she realized that she had been saying random things out loud for the doctor to hear.  Man, why was she so weird?

          "Have I… been talking all this time?"

          "Miss Gilmore, all I'm saying is, this guy seems to have affected you a lot.  Am I right?  Well, maybe you haven't considered how you've affected him."

          She took this information in, realizing what position Jess was in right now.  She was all too aware of how hard it was to choose between two people.  It was just Dean was the one who chose for her at that time.  Who would choose for Jess?

          But Jess was a big boy; he could pick whoever he wanted, from Rory Gilmore to LaToya Jackson.

          Rory slipped into her own silent world, much to the doctor's relief.

          "So, Miss Gilmore, I'll leave you to yourself for a moment, as I have another patient to look at.  The nurse will come and see to your toes in a minute."

          She silently nodded.

***

          Back at the hotel, Jess was still with Shane, drinking and talking, when his cell phone buzzed against his hip.  He jumped, spilling a bit on himself, and cursed.  He'd never get used to this stupid piece of newfangled technology.  Ever.

          He flicked it open, "Yeah."

          "JESS MARIANO YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" Rory's frantic voice screamed into his ear.  In the background, he thought he heard Luke also yelling.

          "What's wrong?"

          "MY MOTHER IS HERE AND SHE'S IN LABOR I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE I'VE NEVER BEEN PREGNANT BEFORE AND LUKE IS FREAKING OUT WITH ME AND I'M IN CRUTCHES AND I CAN'T RUN VERY FAST AND WE'RE BOTH SCREAMING AND—"

          "Rory, Rory," Jess calmly spoke to into his cell phone, "take a deep breath and wait for me there.  I'm on my way."

          "HURRY, PLEASE!"

          Jess shoved the phone back into his pocket and began to stand up.

          "Wow, that Rory Gilmore sure can freak out."

          He looked at Shane apologetically, "Well, Shane, this has been… quite a ride with you.  Although I still think you're insane, in some level, I also appreciate your actions, no matter how weird I think you are now."

          Shane also began to stand, smoothing her dress down in front of her.

          "Thanks, man," she said, uncharacteristically slapping him in the arm.

          With that, bride and groom went their separate ways.

***

          Jess returned to the hospital, craning his head in all directions, looking for Rory.  He went up to the maternity ward and checked each room, making a few women scream in the process.

          "JESS!" he finally heard Rory scream from behind him.  He swiveled about and walked briskly to her.  Rory surprised him again when she suddenly tucked herself into his arms, crying.  With a confused look at Luke's somber face, he spoke into Rory's hair, "What's going on?"

          "The baby's coming out too early," Rory's was muffled reply.

          He pulled her even closer as the words registered, "Don't worry, Rory.  Have you met your mother?  She can totally pull through this."

          Rory had no answer but to cry even more.

***

          It had already been two hours since Jess came, yet there was still no news from the doctors.

          Luke had gone inside for a while, to talk to Lorelai privately, leaving Jess outside with Rory still in his arms.

          "Did you get to finish that thing you had to do today?" Rory asked wearily.

          Jess whispered a small reply of positive and continued to remain silent.  He was mulling things over in his head, even though what he wanted to do was so clear in his mind.

          "Rory?"

          "Jess, I—"

          They both shut their mouth at the same time.

          "So how's Sasha?" Rory then asked.

          Jess smirked a little and answered, "She fell in love with someone from her childhood."

          "That's nice…"

          He raised an eyebrow at Rory's peculiar retort, "Excuse me?  I'll have you reminded that I was the one she left for that jerk."

          "So you really did love her, then?"

          Jess sighed onto her head, "Not as much as I had thought."

          Rory then said something incomprehensible, making Jess lean down to hear her.  "What?"

          She looked up to face Jess and with an expression of embarrassment, "I said, 'Good'."

          Her hand rested on Jess's chest, and she didn't realize that it was there until she felt him shake.  His face broke out into an amused smile and he began to chuckle.

          "Shut up!"

          Jess quieted down, but his smile still remained on his face, thoroughly amused and taken by what Rory had just said and implied.  Without thinking, he kissed her.  It was a light kiss, but it was heavy with meaning.

          "You're kidding, right?" Rory asked when Jess pulled away.

          His only response was to kiss her again.

          Rory was surprised, but it wasn't like she was complaining.

          Nobody said things were supposed to just go one direct way.  Things happened in parallels, as both of them realized.  But who were they to care how the universe worked?


	18. epilogue

+ "Who's this bozo?" you may ask.  Well, she was once a real good updater, finishing multiple-chapter stories in two days.  She's now losing her touch, people, and she's sorry.  Hahha, but in exchange for my speed, I hope I'm giving you guys better-quality stories, eh?  Thanks for the long wait, my lovelies.  If you want updates, go to my site.  You guys know where it is.  Thanks, and see you in the next story!  -Oregano

EPILOGUE

            Luke brushed his wife's hair away from her face, afraid of what's coming.  He'd never had a kid before, much less a kid with birth problems.  So one could only imagine what he was feeling right about now.

            In her sleep, Lorelai frowned and slapped Luke's hand away, mumbling, "Got off me, you jerk…"

            She awoke at Luke's small burst of chuckle.  She smiled at him and touched his hand gently.  When she saw the plastic tube running from the back of her hand to a dextrose bag, she jumped.  Everything was coming back.

            "Luke, the baby, where is she?!" she frantically called.  Lorelai was trembling with fear at the millions of grim possibilities of it all.

            "The baby's pretty weak, so the doctor guys put HIM in an incubator.  Lorelai, he's the tiniest thing I've seen in my life.  He's like… a baby kangaroo."

            "It's a boy?!  And he looks like a kangaroo!?  Oh, God, this is worse than I thought…" she put her cold hands to her face and suddenly turned to Luke, "I bet that kangaroo face came from your side of the family, dammit!"

            Luke took a step back, less of shock, more of confusion.  After the birds and stars went away from his vision, he sighed and tried once more to explain things.  With less figurative language this time.

            "Lorelai, we have a baby boy, hopefully we can call him William—"

            "With a nickname 'Bill'?!  No thanks, man!"

            "How 'bout 'Will'?"

            "For him to grow up a gay lawyer!?  Well, that could be pretty cool, actually…"

            "Yes, great.  Okay, now Will, our baby boy, is in a big plastic box right now.  He's weak as a kit--, I mean, he's pretty weak right now, but the doctors say he's going to be okay."

            "Why is he in a plastic box?"

            "It's the incubator, Lorelai."

            "But he's okay?"

            "Yes."

            "But… you said…" Lorelai's eyes welled up with tears.  Seeing this, Luke immediately took her in his arms.

            "What did I say wrong now, Lorelai?"

            "You said… HE LOOKS LIKE A KANGAROOOOOOOOO!"  With that, she burst into spasms of hacking and coughing.

            Luke just closed his eyes and sighed.  "You're on medication, aren't you?"

            "I see stars and purple rabbits on your shoulder."

            "Figures.  And I bet you see Jess and Rory outside, making out, too."

***

            _Jess watched Rory as she wept into her mother's arms.  It was the dead of night, but she was still wide awake on her bed, speaking softly to Lorelai.  He put his hands, cold as ice, into his pockets to warm them._

_            Did she really love him?  _

_He set his eyes downcast fighting the urge to cry.  He was a man, God dammit!  No wussies here!_

_            "Mom," her voice was muffled by the walls, only escaping briefly from the window's position ajar, "I think I really did love him."_

_            Jess's breath hitched into his throat.  Rory's confession making it hard for him to breathe._

_            He then realized that he was standing in the Gilmore "garden" (which could be hardly called that, given the weeds and overbearing greenery that never was tended) actually contemplating of the possibility of coming up to the window and saying goodbye.  Just so she knew how he felt._

_            He forced his foot to move, but to no avail._

_            Thinking the worst, once again, he silently turned and ran.  Again._

***

            The ballroom was, yet again, heavily decorated, but only this time, it wasn't a professional job.  In one corner of the room, Kirk lay dangling from a ladder with the straps of his jump suit.

            "Anyone give the designer some help please?" he yelled into the spacious room of workers.

            In the other end, Taylor Doosey inspected each molding with care and detail that only Taylor Doosey can give.

            "My, my, where ever did this boy get his molders?  Exquisite detail on these…"

            In the middle of the room, Lorelai cradled a little baby boy in her arms, talking to him gently.  But her words were far from gentle.

            "Mommy's going insane, Kiddo.  You're dad's ignoring me again, leaving me for a can of crusty paint, and your sister's gone Bermuda Triangle on us, too.  It's just you and me, Willheim.  Yeah, your dad hates that name.  And in a few years, you will too…"

            And finally, inside a broom closet, two lovers sat on the cold floor, kissing like there was no tomorrow.  Their fingers intertwined with each other as they escaped the bustling world that was their wedding preparations. 

            END.


End file.
